Into the Woods
by DandLfiction
Summary: CHAPTER 11 ADDED! Abby finds Carter unconcious. Carby angst and fluff, Abby takes a jog in the woods one morning and all hell breaks loose as a result. READ! REVIEW!
1. Morning in bed

Hey. My name's Laura. Not first fan fiction but the first fic I have written about ER, I have recently been sucked in by the Carby bug. This story actually came to me through a dream, which was quite freaky. I fell in love with the plot. Hope you guys like it and please review! Gotta love the reviews! It's the only way I am gonna know whether it is worth continuing. ***Laura***  
  
- - -  
  
He bolted upright, the white sheets that covered his legs flying off with the movement. His head spun as breaths came out of his mouth short and rapid. His eyes scanned the room, and eventually took in the familiar surroundings once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. The breaths began to slow down, although they still suggested panic due to the quickened pace of breathing. He forced himself to calm down, as he knew he might hyperventilate if he continued like this. He continued to sit, as he rested his head back against the wooden headboard behind him. Suddenly movement was felt beside him as the bed sheets ruffled and a groan followed. This occurrence further startled him, as he was not aware, until this point, of another person being present in the room, let alone his bed. It was not until this person spoke that he finally obtained a sense of comfort.  
  
"Carter?" She spoke in a sleep-laden voice, her voice croaking slightly, "Carter, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." He spoke between breaths that were slowly beginning to calm down. "It's nothing Abby."  
  
She rolled over onto her side to look up at him. Although his voice declared he was OK, his expression read completely differently, it did not look like it was nothing. She placed a hand on the skin of his thigh that was rested beside her and rubbed it in a gesture of comfort.  
  
His eyes found hers immediately and he smiled. "It was a nightmare, just a nightmare." He began to lie back down besides her and snaked his arms around her waste. Abby turned around in his hold, so her back was placed against his chest. She felt secure like this, protected, but with her back pressed so close to his chest, she could detect his pounding heart. This time it was him that needed to feel protected. As Carter placed his chin on her shoulder, Abby snuggled her head up close to his face. She kissed his cheek with a lingering kiss, filled with warmth. She felt his heart beat begin to slow and minutes later, they were both in a deep slumber once more.  
  
  
  
- - -  
  
The alarm sounded at 6am, filling the room with a shrilling beep. Not one of them stirred, and so the sound continued. A minute later, Carter uttered a small chuckle into Abby's hair. This had been the same routine for the past month - they would both lie in bed, waiting for the other one to turn off the alarm. Carter's argument had always been that it was Abby's apartment, and so she should be the one to turn it off. Abby's counter argument however was that the few nights they spent together at his place, she was always the one made to turn the alarm off even then. Eventually, Carter reached a long arm over to the bedside cabinet and hit the button. The beeping stopped. The arm returned to its initial place around Abby's waste. Carter leaned over and placed his lips above her ear, "and that was only to stop you digging into me and spoiling my few minutes left in this bed with you."  
  
Abby turned around in his arms to face him, looking into his eyes for a small moment with an intent stare and concluded, placing her lips onto his with a short but lingering kiss. "Good Morning" she smiled up at him.  
  
He smiled back at her, pushing a strand of her dark hair that had strayed in front of her face, behind her ear. "Good Morning to you too."  
  
"Do we have to go in today?" She moaned ever so slightly, still looking intently into his eyes.  
  
Carter chuckled at her whines. He found it adorable. "Well, technically, no, we don't Ihave/I to but that would be a bad idea. I do not want Weaver on my back for the next month. Think of it this way though, we both have the same shift today, meaning we start and finish together, meaning I get to spend the whole day around you. I say that's a bonus."  
  
Abby sighed, still lying contentedly in her partner's arms. "Wrong there. I had my shift changed yesterday; sorry I forgot to tell you. I'm not on until nine this morning, meaning I finish two hours later which sucks, but I'm covering for Lilly who has to take her puppy to the vets, so I'm being a good person, think of it that way."  
  
"I'd prefer you to be a bad person if it meant spending more time with you, but I guess I could settle with a good person . . . as long as the bad person returns tonight." He added cheekily.  
  
"Hey!" Abby prodded him in the ribs, then started kissing the man besides her and giggling slightly as she rolled on top of Carter, straddling him as he lay on his back. They continued kissing passionately, the signature kiss of any new couple. Carter's hands roamed in Abby's hair, as her hands grasped the shirt covering his shoulders, pulling him further towards her. Moments later, they both broke the kiss and stared at each other with pure happiness. Suddenly Abby began to giggle.  
  
"What's wrong now?" Carter asked sarcastically.  
  
"Thanks God for the underwear we put back on last night" she continued to giggle. "Other wise we would be looking at you being a little late for work!"  
  
"Was that a sign for 'get your butt out of this bed and ready for work'?" he asked.  
  
"Well done! He's catching on." She replied mockingly.  
  
He leant down and kissed her once more, as his hands found their way to her waste and suddenly began tickling her. She screamed as she broke the kiss and attempted to push at his chest.  
  
I"Stop it Carter!!! I'm warning you! Stop this!"/I  
  
He laughed at her attempt at fury. "Well, do you promise not to patronize me again?"  
  
"I promise, I really do."  
  
His hands removed themselves from her body, as he crawled off of her and jumped down onto the carpeted floor. He turned around to face her and laughed when he saw her scowling expression.  
  
"You know I hate you doing that."  
  
"Which is exactly why I did it."  
  
"Just . . . just go get ready." She ordered.  
  
Carter stood straight and lifted a hand to his head in a salute. "Yes ma'am!"  
  
Abby threw her hand up, motioning for him to head into the bathroom. He smiled and followed her order, heading for the bathroom door. The door to the bathroom was situated on the wall adjacent to the bed, so Abby had the ability to still hold a conversation with Carter.  
  
"Hey, I forgot to ask. What was the diagnosis of the little girl who came in with dizziness and nausea yesterday?"  
  
"You worked on Becca?"  
  
"Becca, yeah that was her name. Yeah, I saw her when her Mom bought her in. I sat her down, calmed her a little. She was a nice kid."  
  
Carter did not respond for a few seconds. "She has leukemia."  
  
Now it was Abby's turn not to respond. Carter felt sympathy for her as he stood in the bathroom. Sometimes she did get a little attached to children, as they all did. He had felt exactly the same when he had gotten her labs back. He finished cleaning his teeth, and left the bathroom to check on Abby. She was lying in the bed staring at a blank spot on the ceiling. Carter smiled to himself; it was her thinking face. He bent over and kissed her lightly on the head. Abby immediately came back to reality.  
  
"You OK?" He asked her softly.  
  
Abby smiled. His voice of concern almost made her melt inside. Thinking back she couldn't think of another man who had had this much love and respect for her. "Yeah, just took me by surprise."  
  
He bent forward to pull her into an embrace. "I know."  
  
The hug lasted a few seconds, and then a thought came to Abby and she pulled away, looked Carter in the eyes. "Hey, I should be the one asking if you're OK."  
  
Carter looked at her with puzzlement. "If I'm OK about Becca? She's a patient Abby, not my."  
  
Abby cut him off. "No no no. In the night.you woke up panting? You scared me for a second there, you OK now?"  
  
Carter's expression changed to one of realization. "Oooh! Yeah, I'm fine now. It was a nightmare that's all. Shook me up a little."  
  
"What about?" She asked, curious as to what could shake him up that much.  
  
"That's the thing, I cannot remember at all. I mean usually when I have dreams, I can at least remember parts, but I cannot remember anything at all, just this feeling of dread and that turned to fear when I awoke."  
  
Abby smiled up at him. "Freak."  
  
Carter put on an expression of mock shock. "Hey! Why am I a freak?"  
  
"Well, I mean everyone remembers their dreams. Apart from you, John Carter."  
  
He held up his hands to her, wiggling his fingers. "You want me to use these on you again?"  
  
Abby laughed. "Well it depends in what means you would be using them. If last night was any way to go by, then go right ahead, but if this morning is what you are meaning - noooooo way!"  
  
"You're too cocky, you know that?"  
  
She smiled triumphantly. "Yeah, I know."  
  
Carter turned his back and returned to the bathroom. Abby heard running water so she assumed he was finally getting into the shower. She looked at the clock. It read 6:15am. "Carter you have fifteen minutes to get out of the house!" She shouted to him. She wasn't sure if he had heard her when he didn't reply.  
  
"Plenty of time!" He shouted back moments later.  
  
Abby sighed to herself, how could a man be so stubborn? She then thought it was about time that she got out of bed. She swung her feet off of the edge of the double bed and made her way towards her closet. She had just over two hours before she needed to be out of the house and on her way to County General. She looked in her closet and an idea came to her head. She pulled out her jogging pants and a T-shirt. She had not been for a jog in ages, and this morning she needed something to wake her up before her ten-hour shift. After changing her underwear, she pulled on the pants and shirt and looked in the mirror to see how terrible she looked in these clothes.  
  
"Shit." She muttered when spotting the huge ketchup stain on the front of the shirt. IWhy the hell did I put this back in my closet? /I She asked herself. Then realization hit and she realized it probably wasn't her who had put it back. It was probably John trying to be helpful. "Men." She mumbled. She began searching her closet for another shirt but could not find one. Thinking about it, she probably did not own more than one T- shirt. They were kind of ugly looking anyway. She was about to give up on the idea of a morning jog when she spotted Carter's T-shirt he had worn after his shift last night thrown over the back of the chair besides the bed. She walked over and grabbed it. She took in a deep breath as she prepared for the horrible task of checking whether the shirt was actually clean. She sniffed it and smiled. Smelled clean enough to her, he must have only worn it for a few hours last night, between putting it on after work and her pulling it off of him last night. She smiled at that as she pulled it on over her head. She felt like a silly schoolgirl when she felt her stomach flip as the smell of Carter surrounded her. She began tucking the bottom right into her pants as the T-shirt swamped her small frame. She was in mid tucking mode when she heard a cough come from the doorway of the bathroom. She turned around guiltily to see Carter standing there. Guilt suddenly turned to pleasure as she stared at her man, bare-chested, dripping wet and towel clad. This was the best part of her mornings spent with him.  
  
"And what do you think you're doing with my shirt?"  
  
She was trying to piece her words together. "Um, uh well.."  
  
"Spit it out."  
  
"Well you put my shirt back in my closet dirty so I thought the least you could do would be to let me borrow yours."  
  
"And what if I say no huh?" He asked, walking over to her slowly.  
  
"Well I'd say tough."  
  
"You do look kinda cute in it."  
  
"Why thank you. You look kinda hot in that towel too."  
  
They both started sniggering at one another's comments.  
  
"So, why are you dressed like you're about to take part in World's Strongest Man?" He asked her matter-of-factly as he searched for his bag that contained a fresh set of clothes.  
  
"I'm going jogging in Bemis Wood before my shift. Figured it would wake me up a little and besides, I have put on a few extra pounds these past two weeks, just sitting around with you."  
  
"And you say it like it's a bad thing."  
  
"It is, me putting on weight!" She exclaimed.  
  
Carter looked up at her from his seated position on the edge of the bed, as he fought to put his pants on. "You look perfect."  
  
She blushed slightly and looked down at the floor for a second.  
  
"Oh don't go shy on my Abigail Lockhart! You love it."  
  
She walked over to him, placing her hands on either side of his face and pulling his head down as she kissed him on the forehead. "I know." 


	2. The news

Sights went flashing past his eyes as the El train flew through the city of Chicago at a rapid rate. The train was full to the brim with business people, taking the early train to their destination of work in the city. The 6.40am train was never occupied by youngsters or by the elderly, just by professional adults in business attire. John Carter fitted in surprisingly well with this type, in fact he was one of them himself, a little younger than the majority, but still, a professional working adult. The journey from his apartment to County General took roughly ten minutes; however, the few yards from the El station to the ER took forever. People rushing to get off, and pushing to get on - it was hell. The only bonus at the present point in time was that it was late in the summer season. Late August was a generally warm time in Chicago, with temperatures averaging at seventy degrees. In a few weeks, the weather would begin to turn. As soon as September hit, the mornings would become chilly and the nights darker. Those winter months were the times that the morning El rides seemed like hell had hit. It would be below zero; even the warmest coats could not keep out the cold. When Chicago got its familiar dosage of snow the El would not even run. That meant a long, freezing walk to work was in store for Carter and the rest of the ER staff. This morning's journey, however, seemed to really bite according to Carter. He had been looking forward to arriving into work with Abby, but this morning the excitement was broken when she had told him she was not on the same shift. In the month, since they had made their relationship public to others and to themselves, they had worked the same shift nearly every day. Those rides on the El together had been great. They would cuddle up to one another, whispering in the others ear and occasionally sharing a sweet kiss. One morning, an elderly woman situated behind the two had stuck her head between the seat in front to speak to Carter and Abby. She had outwardly mentioned how the two of them were suited and how she wished her grandchildren would end up with partners as well suited as the two of them were to one another. This thought had stayed with Carter for the remainder of the day, and the kind words would probably stick with him for the rest of his life. It was weird how something so small could mean so much. He had never been so openly affectionate towards any of his other girlfriends. He was, in some way, embarrassed about public affection. This did not matter to him with Abby, he just wanted the world to know she was with him and that he was in love with the woman. He had not yet admitted to her that he was in love, as it had only been two weeks since the two of them had defined themselves as being in a relationship. To be honest though, they had been dancing around with one another for two years now. The attraction had been there for both of them since they had met; it had just been down to timing. He did not know if she was in love with him and that was why he was so reluctant to tell her about his feelings - because he did not want to have his heart broken. He was not scared to admit it to himself though; he had been in love with her for months now, maybe even longer than that!  
  
Now, he sat alone as the train pulled into the station and the crowds of early morning passengers huddled far too closely to depart. Carter was now sandwiched between a fifty something year old man who had an unfortunate smell of sweat surrounding him, and a woman around Abby's age who stood behind him a little too closely. He did not wish to turn around and so made his move away as fast as he possibly could, up the concrete stairs and out into the open air of Chicago once more. There was no possibility of standing still for one second, even once you were out of the station. The crowds continued to move at a rapid rate, and so you were forced to move with the flow of human traffic. Luckily County General was only a mere minute's walk away and so as Carter rushed to escape his creepy admirer, he was immediately walking into the ambulance bay. Things were looking good so far as there were no signs of ambulances pulling up with traumas. He spotted Chen walking through the doors and he smiled a welcoming smile as he made his way towards her.  
  
"Hey stranger. You off already? Shift hasn't even started!" He joked.  
  
Chen smiled wearily as she stood in front of Carter. "Well, I got stuck doing night shift so I am in some desperate need of some sleep. I am not even going to pretend that I am one bit happy for you who is only just starting your shift."  
  
"Hey, well, someone's gotta do it. You go home, get some rest. You in tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, normal shift tomorrow. I'll catch you then."  
  
Carter patted her on the shoulder as they parted and he made his way through the doors and into the ER. The same scene greeted him as he made his way past the admit desk and over to the lounge. Haleh, Connie and Randy were gossiping by the desk and bursting into laughter every few seconds. Kerry was seen ordering Frank to get back to work as he munched on a doughnut. Carter pushed the door to the lounge open and was greeted by another familiar face. Susan was seated at the table, reading a women's magazine and looked up as the door opened.  
  
"Slacking off already Susan?" Carter asked light-heartedly as he opened his locker to retrieve his stethoscope and lab coat.  
  
"Ha ha very funny. My watch states it is only 6.57am so I have another three minutes before I am officially on." She spoke, her head returning downwards to the magazine.  
  
Carter slammed the door to his locker shut, pausing to hang the stethoscope around his neck and pull on his lab coat. He was now ready for his shift. "Whatever you say."  
  
"So, where's the other half? Not attached to each other's sides as usual? Everything OK in the world of Abby and Carter?" Susan continued to read as she spoke.  
  
Carter smiled at the mention of Abby. "Her shift was changed and so she's not on for another two hours, meaning I traveled into work on my own and am here on my own, with no Abby attached to my side, OK?"  
  
Susan looked up with an amused look on her face. "Oooh, touchy! You missing your security blanket already? Poor baby."  
  
Carter shot her a look as he turned around and walked out of the lounge to start work. His day was not getting off to a good start and he did admit to himself that he was feeling a little frustrated this morning because Abby had not come in with him. He looked at his watch as he approached this desk. 7.01am, another hour and fifty-nine minutes until Abby would appear through the doors. He sighed to himself. Time was going to drag this morning. Doctor Weaver slowly approached John from across the hall. He leaned back against the front of the desk, awaiting her directions.  
  
"OK John, there is a woman in curtain three who needs seeing, a piece of lint or something flew in her eye. Then there is a gentleman in four, complaining of throat pains and blurred vision."  
  
When Kerry had finished speaking she handed Carter two charts and made her way into chairs. Carter sighed for the hundredth time that morning and made his way over to curtain three. He scanned the chart briefly as he entered checking for the patient's name.  
  
"Mrs. Kingston I presume?" He asked, his eyes moving from the chart held in front of him to meet the patient's eyes, well eye seeing as one was very red and closed shut. A middle-aged woman, probably in her forties, met Carter's stare. She was very, well, how could he put it.tough looking? She sported a tattoo on each arm, and had multiple piercings covering her face. Her arms were probably nearly as big as his were, if not bigger, and he was rather apprehensive about this.  
  
"Yeah honey, that's me. Who are you cute thang?"  
  
Carter's eyes widened a little. He drew in a long breath and let it out before he spoke.  
  
"I'm Doctor Carter. Now what seems to have happened here?"  
  
"Well ya see I was on my bike minding my own business when this stupid piece of sommat flew into my goddamn eye!" She pointed to her eye, making sure Carter knew what an eye looked like.  
  
He carefully approached her trying to take a better look without getting beaten up in the process. "You weren't wearing a helmet when this happened then?" Her head shot up and Carter immediately regretted his words. "Who do you think you are sugar? A cop? When do you get off telling me what to do?"  
  
Carter distanced himself a little. "I wasn't ma'am, I was purely asking you a question. Just trying to get my head around what must have flown into your eye."  
  
"I already told someone. A piece of lint! Are you people stupid?"  
  
"Can I take a look then?" Carter asked, almost timidly.  
  
"Now ya talkin' sweet thang!"  
  
Carter's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "Uh, I meant in your eye."  
  
"Sure ya did. Don't be scared to admit ya wan' a bit of the mature woman. I can tell ya do."  
  
Carter stepped forward and prepared to inspect Mrs. Kingston's eye. Suddenly, a pair of hands clasped his butt firmly. He looked up to see a sneaky grin plastered across the woman's face. Carter jumped away to the other side of the room.  
  
"What's wrong precious? Can't handle a real woman?"  
  
Carter was still too shocked. "I . . . I . . . I'm gonna . . . gonna go get another doctor . . . a . . . a FEMALE doctor."  
  
With that he ran out of the room as fast as he could and into the lounge. He burst through the doors thankful to see Susan seated at the table.  
  
"Where's the fire?" She asked as Carter burst through the door trying to catch his breath.  
  
"I was just hit on in curtain three by a middle ages woman!!" His cheeks flushed as he spoke.  
  
Susan tried to contain the laughter building up inside of her but it proved impossible. She burst out laughing and Carter's face of pure shock only added to the comic situation. "You're kidding me right?" She managed to say.  
  
"No! Susan it's not a laughing matter! I could do her for sexual harassment! She grabbed my butt!"  
  
Susan's laughs turned hysterical. "Oh . . . Oh stop it Carter! You're killing me!"  
  
"Look, I came in here to ask you to take over. Would you?"  
  
"Well, why should I? You sure she won't grab my butt too?" Susan burst into giggles once again. Carter was about to open his mouth when Susan jumped in first, "OK, OK, I'll do it, don't get ratty again. Geez!"  
  
Susan got up from her position at the table and laughed once more as she approached Carter. She sneaked up besides him and pinched his butt quickly before running out of the room, giggling like crazy. Carter almost jumped out of his shoes. He growled in frustration as Susan left the room. He was never going to live this down once Susan opened her mouth, he thought. He noticed he was still holding another patient's chart in his hand. He was not up to seeing another patient right now. He sat down on the sofa and leaned his head back. He closed his eyes momentarily. He had not gotten very much sleep last night. He remembered waking up shaken because of some nightmare. He could still not remember what it was of, and why it had shaken him up so much. He had not really gotten much sleep after that, resulting in him being tired as hell this morning. He could barely keep his eyes open. Just a few minutes rest, he thought as his mind relaxed and sleep over took him.  
  
- - -  
  
A bang startled him and he opened his eyes slowly. The door to the lounge had been thrown open and Haleh stood in the doorway searching the room. As soon as Carter popped his head around to look towards the doorway Haleh's eyes met his.  
  
"So that's where you've been hiding out? What did you do, go to sleep?"  
  
Carter looked around the room confused. "What time is it Haleh?"  
  
"It's a quarter past nine, meaning you better get your butt back in the ER."  
  
The word 'butt' seemed to be the only word that rung out in that sentence, until he picked up on the time.  
  
"Abby." He muttered, jumping up from the sofa.  
  
"Huh?" Haleh questioned.  
  
"Abby, where is she? What curtain or room?"  
  
"She's not in yet."  
  
"Sure she is." Carter said, dismissing her answer.  
  
"Uh, no Carter she isn't." Haleh confirmed.  
  
Carter looked a little confused. "She probably just slipped in quietly, I'll go and see."  
  
"Nah ah, sorry, not possible. You'll have to arrange your little rendezvous for another time. We have multiple traumas coming in."  
  
Carter followed Haleh out of the lounge, scanning the area for Abby. She was not in her usual place, hanging around the admit desk. Probably with a patient, he thought. Then another though occurred to him. Why didn't she wake him when she hung her coat up and retrieved her scrubs from the lounge? Kerry interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"There's been a shooting, we have at least four traumas coming in, maybe more. I need you to suit up and be out in the ambulance bay."  
  
Carter sighed. "What's the ETA?"  
  
"Two minutes." She replied before walking off.  
  
"Where's it happened?" He shouted back to Kerry. He hoped it wasn't at a school or anything like that. He couldn't bear to deal with kids who had been shot by some psycho.  
  
"Huh?" She called back.  
  
"Where'd it happen? The shooting."  
  
"Oh, some wood."  
  
Carter nodded in understanding. "Oh."  
  
He went to retrieve an apron from the box by the door, still searching for Abby. Her jog couldn't have taken that long, he thought. Unless she sprained her ankle tripping over a random log in the.  
  
His thought trailed off as his stomach turned and he thought he was going to throw up right there and then. He stumbled as his vision blurred and the room began to spin. He felt a figure besides him, and he grabbed onto their shoulder to steady himself. He heard Susan's worried voice besides him, but he couldn't see her, he couldn't see anyone.  
  
"Carter? CARTER? What the hell is wrong? Talk to me John!" He couldn't form words. His mouth opened but nothing would come out. He tried for a few more moments and eventually words came. "I . . . I . . . uh . . . wh . . . what woods?"  
  
"Huh?" Susan asked confused.  
  
"Wh . . . what wo . . . woods? The shooting?"  
  
"Oh. Bemis. Quite close, which is quite freaky . . . "  
  
Carter only heard the first two words and his mind and world went black. His body fell limp and once it hit the floor his mind shut off.  
  
  
  
--- OK hope you all likes that. I thought I would post 2 chapters to start with so you knew I was serious about continuing. Please review so I know to keep posting. Chapter 3 should be up mid week, if not definitely by Friday. Should be before. Luv Laura. 


	3. Bemis Woods

Hey everyone. So so so so (get the picture?) sorry about not updating in so long, I have just been so busy and lost drive to write but I got it back today and wrote. Can I say thank you "lilyhead" I received your review in my inbox and it really made me wanna sit down and write so thanks, this one is dedicated to you! I have not received as many reviews had I hoped to carry on so please, if you want more, tell me. That way it will come sooner than this. ***Laura***  
  
Thoughts of the current morning continued to flow through Abby's head as she jogged at a steady rate through the gate round the back of her apartment block that lead to the beautiful setting that was Bemis Woods. There weren't many beautiful landmarks in a huge city like Chicago, but somehow, through the luck of the draw, Abby had picked an apartment block right in front on a beautiful Forrest. It was absolutely beautiful when it snowed and the white blankets sat perfectly on top of each tree. That was one of the reasons she had been drawn to this apartment in the first place, she had fallen in love with it.  
  
Shame luck had not been on her side the night Brian had decided to attack her. She had not thought about him in a while now, ever since she had been with Carter for that matter. It was on days like this, on the odd occasion, that he randomly appeared in her thoughts. She had finally beaten the constant feeling of insecurity that had plagued her for weeks after the attack. In a way Carter had helped her overcome that fear, by staying over as much as he possibly could when she had first moved back into her apartment.  
  
It was funny how things had turned out. She had never really felt that sense of comfort around Luka, even when staying at his house after the attack. He had been there for her when Carter hadn't, but still she felt far more secure with Carter. The day of the Lockdown, he had told her everything would be OK and it had been. Whatever he said, whatever he believed, even if it was not true, Abby believed him. He would always be there, protecting her, shielding her from harm. A smile crept across her face as she found a suitable jogging trail and began her exercise regime. She finally felt happy with Carter, content. Sure, she had felt like that with Richard-for a minute or so! Things had never really gotten started with Luka. There had been the trauma of him killing that guy on their first date which had messed him up permanently afterwards. Then there was her mother. Maggie had caused too many arguments between the two of them. It wasn't her fault, not really, she was just an excuse that they both blamed for the constant arguing. Those things were just a reminder that they were not meant to be.  
  
Abby was a strong believer in fate, especially when it came down to Carter. He had been a constant problem for Luka and Abby, unintentionally of course. He had admitted his feelings for her and Luka obviously knew how Carter felt, everyone did, he was so obvious about it. Luka also knew how she felt about Carter, before she knew herself! That had been one of the reasons for their break up. The spark was not there. When it came down to Crater however, sure there was no spark, there were fireworks. The spark had been there fore two years, the fireworks had started a few weeks back. This had never happened to her before, falling in love straight away. This was something special they had here, and Abby found herself thinking this was it, this was the one. This scared her to an extent-that the relationship was so new yet her feelings were so strong. Sure, she had not admitted her love to Carter yet, she was not sure how he would react. One thing was for sure though, she was not going to back away. Nothing mattered now, nothing but the two of them.  
  
Abby continued to jog at a steady pace, her breath slowly quickening, her cheeks turning a red colour. She tilted her head upwards as she ran, admiring the towering trees above her and the blue sky surrounding her everywhere she went. It was so silent she could hear the beating of her heart as she ran. It was a perfect morning, and she had the perfect life.  
  
Suddenly, a crackling was heard in the bush besides her. Abby stopped dead in her tracks and looked from her left to her right. She had sworn she had heard something. She made her way over to the right hand side of the trail, grabbing a long sturdy branch on her way. She extended the branch and poked her way around the bush, trying to feel for signs of life. She let out a scream as something ran out of the bush straight for her. Peering down she eyed the creature, a small brown rabbit. Abby put a hand to her heart, feeling the pumping from the scare she had just received, from a rabbit of all things. IIf Carter ever found out about this, he is never gonna let me live this down!/I Abby stared at the animal once more and made her way down the trail again, picking up her pace.  
  
She lifted her left wrist up to stare at her watch. She was due in for work in half an hour. She was making perfect timing. Suddenly a piercing scream followed by a resounding bang, heard from across the Forrest. Abby's eyes bulged as she once again stopped dead in her tracks. That was not another bunny rabbit. She heard several more bangs follow, sounds that could only be identified as gunshots. Abby looked around her helplessly. She did not know what to do, where to go, how to get out. Her mind was made up for her as she heard footsteps rapidly approaching her. She ran down the trail in the opposite direction that she had come in, so as to escape the on-comer. Abby had seen this so many times at work, the crazy gunman and his victims being rolled in one after the other. She was not going to be part of one, never. She had too much to lose. Carter was the only thing on her mind as she continued to run, faster and faster down the trail. She could hear him, or should she say it behind her, gaining on her with every step she took. Her chest was beginning to hurt from the running, and she was slowing. INo Abby, don't slow, never slow, never . . ./I and as she fell forward, tripping over a rock, her last thought was of the man she loved. 


	4. Doom

"W-what w-woods? The shooting?"  
  
"Oh. Bemis. Quite close, which is quite freaky."  
  
Carter only heard the first two words and his mind and world went black. His body fell limp and once it hit the floor his mind shut off.  
  
- - -  
  
He had only blacked out for a few seconds when he came around and heard the faint shouts from the small crowd now gathered around him. He scooted over to chairs and pulled himself up on one of the seats on the front row. Susan, Frank and Haleh were now peering over him asking repetitively if he was all right and what was going on. Carter buried his head in his hands and tried to stop his head from spinning by taking deep breaths.  
  
"John, tell me what's wrong? What the hell just happened then?" Susan asked panicked.  
  
Carter's reply was just to shake his head. He did not want to answer stupid questions right now.  
  
"Look, you fainted, that does not just happen to you." She positioned herself in a kneeling position so she was looking directly at him. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Look, are you, ya know, using again?"  
  
This caused a reaction from Carter. His head shot up from it's rested position in his hands and his face was one of pure shock and fury. "No! I am not! How dare you even think that Susan?!"  
  
"Look Carter, something is going on with you."  
  
He seemed to have calmed a little and was now able to think straight. He was brought straight back to the reality of the matter when Kerry started to wheel in a middle-aged man with gun shot wounds to his shoulder and leg. "Abby" he whispered, as he stared at the man blankly.  
  
"You want me to get Abby? She should be around her somewhere, although I haven't see . . . " Susan started.  
  
"No! You don't understand!" He shouted, getting up from his seated position and looking around frantically, unsure of what to do. His voice suddenly grew softer. "She was in the woods, Bemis Woods, this morning." His gaze finally landed on Susan, his eyes almost pleading with her.  
  
Susan's eyes grew wide and she stood in pure shock for a split second before realizing that he was jumping to conclusions. "Look, she's working now isn't she? Her shift started . . . "  
  
"No. She hasn't come in yet, she's late, and she is never late Susan. I know something has happened, I just know it." The pure horror he was feeling could be identified in his voice, as it cracked as he spoke the last few words. Susan stepped forward and pulled her friend into a hug. He clung onto her, as if pleading with her to make sure Abby was alright. His eyes had pleaded with her and now his body was pleading with her. Susan could feel him shake with sobs and this brought many tears to her eyes. John was her friend, but not only this, Abby was her friend too and she could not bear to see something happen to her, not now that she was so happy. Carter and Abby had something so special together, a fool could detect that, and it was just wrong, so so wrong, to tear them apart with a tragedy that immense.  
  
Haleh, Connie and Chuny stood at the Admit Desk simply watching Susan and Carter with tears in their eyes. Kerry walked up to the three of them hurriedly from Trauma one.  
  
"What the hell is going on with Carter and Susan?" She asked, preparing to walk over. "Do they not know we are about to become snowed under with traumas and they choose a public part of the hospital to engage in intimate gestures?"  
  
"Doctor Weaver wait." Shouted Haleh. "It's Carter, Abby was in Bemis Woods this morning and she hasn't come in yet."  
  
"Do I really care where Abby chooses to go before her shift starts, she's late and that is all that matters. Get her on the phone Frank." Weaver ordered to Frank who was standing by the phone watching Carter with a saddened expression.  
  
"No, you don't understand." Haleh spoke up once more. "Abby was jogging in the woods the shooting has taken place in."  
  
Doctor Weaver's hard expression suddenly changed to one of realization and horror. "Well has she been brought in yet?"  
  
"I don't think so. There has only been one more since you and Luka took the man into one and that was a child. How many more are expected?" Connie asked.  
  
Weaver looked around distraught for a moment before she reverted back into her professional manner. "I don't know, three maybe four." She then made her way around the desk and over to where Carter and Susan were standing. She saw they were still hugging and held back until Susan spotted her. Weaver smiled and Susan returned the smile, letting John go so Weaver could communicate with him. Carter followed Susan's gaze behind him to where Weaver was standing. She placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke in a soft, reassuring tone.  
  
"Are you OK John?"  
  
Carter's brow furrowed. "Of course I am not OK Kerry. How could you even ask that?" Susan placed a hand on his arm, detecting that he was beginning to lose it again.  
  
"Look, John, we are going to try and find out as quickly as possible whether Abby was involved in the shooting. Police vehicles have already been sent to the woods and so they will be able to tell us in a matter of minutes what the situation is. Why don't you go and sit down in the lounge and we will tell you immediately if anything happens."  
  
"I-I can't. I have to know, I have to be doing something." He stammered, his tear stained face one of innocence and pain.  
  
"I know, I understand." Kerry spoke again. "Look, there are about three or four more traumas coming in and we already have two here already so Susan and I are needed, but if there is anything I can do . . . "  
  
"I'll help. I need to be doing something." Carter offered, walking towards the trauma room.  
  
"John, I don't think that's a very good . . . "  
  
"I can do it Kerry!!" He shouted, catching attention from many.  
  
Weaver nodded, and followed Carter and Susan. Weaver went back to the man who Luka was working on whilst Carter and Susan walked through to the next room where the paramedics were loading a young girl onto the bed.  
  
"What have we got?" Asked Carter. He was trying so hard to distract himself from thinking about Abby, he knew there was nothing that he could do, he was just going to have to wait.  
  
"Ten year old girl, GSW to the chest and neck."  
  
Carter surveyed the patient. She was unconscious, looked like she had been from the second that the bullets had hit her. She was bleeding out severely and her chances did not look at all good.  
  
Susan looked at him from across the bed. "Are you ok to do this?"  
  
"Susan I'm fine!! Just pass me suction NOW!"  
  
- - -  
  
"Asystole." Susan confirmed as Carter continued perform CPR.  
  
"Come on Katy." Carter puffed out as he continued.  
  
Susan and Chuny stood watching from the opposite side of the bed, knowing that there was nothing else that could be done. "Do you wanna call it Carter?" Susan asked skeptically.  
  
"No Susan! She's gonna be ok."  
  
"Carter . . . "  
  
He suddenly stopped, staring at the pale face of the little girl lying in front of him. "I'm sorry Katy." He spoke in a tone barely above a whisper. Susan's voice then filled his ears and the little girl's face changed before him to Abby's. She was covered in blood and her lips were so blue.  
  
"Time of death 9:45".  
  
Carter let out a scream and the face immediately disappeared and Katy's returned. Carter could feel the bile rising in his stomach as he flew out of the room and ran at lightning speed to the men's bathroom situated down the hall. He could hear Susan call after him as he forced the door open, flinging himself into a cubical and falling onto his knees as he threw up into the toilet. He panted as sweat gathered upon his forehead, and he leaned his head back against the cubical door. What was happening to his life? This morning, only a few hours ago now everything in his life had been perfect. He could not have wished for it to be any other way. "The life of John Carter." He stated. "As soon as things are looking up, something just has to go and ruin them." He could not even bear to think of a life without Abby. He loved her too much, and to think she might not even know that, he may never get to tell her how he truly felt. He began to cry again, his face screwing up as he pulled at his hair in frustration, anger and pure turmoil. Suddenly the bathroom door flew open and a male voice that could only be identified as Frank's filled the room.  
  
"Doctor Carter, Abby's just been brought in!"  
  
---  
  
Hope you liked it. Sorry about the delay again but it wasn't a long a wait as the last one! See, I am getting better. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Only 2 weeks today till season 9 airs in the UK!!! YAY!! Please remember to review, I love hearing and I will know if it is worth carrying on.  
  
***Laura*** 


	5. Dreaming

Hey. Sorry for not putting a chapter up in so long. I know I am inconsistent but I have had exams all through January so have not had time. Hope this chapter is worth it. Please, still feedback. Thanks. Laura.  
  
- - -  
  
"Doctor Carter, Abby's just been brought in!"  
  
His head exploded with every possible thought at that one moment. In a way he wished he had not heard Frank speak, in a way he did not want to know what awaited him outside that room, in the ER. He was quite happy sitting here, pretending that Abby was at home safe and that a long and happy life together was what lay ahead of them. Carter placed his head in his hands whilst tugging at his hair. He was torn. A part of him wanted to sprint out of the cubicle as fast as he possibly could, just so he knew. She could be all right. Frank had said she had been brought in. Maybe she was just a little shaky from the ordeal and was waiting patiently for him outside the bathroom, waiting for him to take her into his arms and never let go. What was he doing wasting precious minutes sitting on a tiled floor then? Because the other half of his mind was preparing him for the worst. Preparing him for Abby to be lying helpless on a gurney, soaked in her own blood and in a state beyond help, beyond Ihis/i help. He rose to his feet. Not even an hour spent sitting there could prepare him for seeing her in that state. Nothing could. She was going to be ok though, she had to be.  
  
"Doctor Carter!" Frank exclaimed, his voice raising, slight urgency showing.  
  
Carter opened the door and stepped out into the bathroom. His pale face and reddened eyes that were half covered by heavy eyelids, showing the pure exhaustion he was feeling at such an early time in the day. He searched Frank's face for any sign, but Frank spoke up as if reading Carter's searching eyes.  
  
"I haven't seen her, Susan just screamed at me to go and find you."  
  
Carter did not like the way Frank had explained Susan's instruction. 'Screamed'. He swallowed the lump that was forming in this throat and set his eyes on the door in front of him. He pushed past Frank and walked towards it. It was now or never and he was not going to be able to help Abby by standing in a bathroom, acting like a wimp. If any doctor was going to help her it was going to be him.  
  
He opened the door almost cautiously, and received his first view of the ER. Something was different, something was not right. The walls were still the same hygienic white color they always had been. The smell was still the same distinct one of cleanliness that typical of hospitals. However there was no buzz, no energy, and no staff. It was eerily quiet, only a few patients were sat in chairs and the admit area appeared empty, that was until he spotted Haleh and Chuny, staring at each other in a somewhat shocked state. Carter did not like the looks upon their faces and did not like the pitying look Haleh gave when she discovered him.  
  
Haleh spotted Carter standing outside the bathroom, eyeing her with open eyes, almost pleading for her to give him a sign that Abby was ok. Those dreamy brown eyes every woman usually swooned over were now eyes that screamed for help, that screamed for comfort, and that screamed for the woman that he loved to hold him. Haleh could not bear the glance he was directing her way, and could not bear to encounter this man's state when he found out what lay ahead. She looked the other way, tears forming in her eyes, her heart breaking for the man fastly approaching her.  
  
Carter approached the admit desk, taking large determined strides. Haleh had turned her back to him and Chuny was now sat down, head in her hands. Things were not looking good.  
  
"Haleh. What's going on?" Carter asked in a hushed tone, almost uncertain if he wanted to know at all. He did not receive a reply.  
  
"Haleh, talk to me." His voice was steadily rising in volume now and he was tired of being kept in the dark. He was still talking to Haleh's back and receiving silence. He placed a hand on her shoulder and forced her to turn and face him. Her eyes begged with him not to ask but he ignored her plea.  
  
"Tell me where she is!"  
  
"Carter."  
  
"HALEH! WHERE IS MY GIRLFRIEND?!"  
  
She reverted her eyes back to the floor and quietly answered. "Trauma One."  
  
Without a second thought he headed straight there, almost knocking over a distraught Chuny as he exited the area. Haleh's voice stopped him.  
  
"Carter. . . I wouldn't go in there."  
  
He turned around abruptly his eyes burning into hers. "Why?"  
  
"It just. . .it doesn't look good."  
  
He inhaled a large amount of air thought his nostrils, and tightened his jaw, before walking rapidly towards Trauma One. His mind was a blur at this moment in time; the setting around him like a painting, the noise in his ears a distant murmur. The door to the trauma room was in sight and as he took two more paces he stood directly in front of the door. The sight he observed through the glass panel almost destroyed him. Every senior member of staff was packed into the room, trying to help one of their own one way or another. Abby's lifeless form lay on the bed, her chest oozing with blood and her face extremely pale. Kerry and Susan were huddled over Abby's chest, desperately trying to stop the severe bleeding and repair the vast amount of damage. Pratt was supplying suction where needed and Luka, Chen and Gallant stood in the corner of the room watching with hope and faith.  
  
Carter burst through the room, with such force, and stood at the foot of the bed.  
  
"John, I don't think its such a good. . ."  
  
"Kerry I'm staying." He stated, his eyes transfixed on the woman who lay in front of him.  
  
"Suction Pratt, God damn it!" Susan screamed and Carter immediately jumped into action.  
  
"Right what can I do?"  
  
"Nothing John! We have it covered. You would be more help to her if you waited outside." Kerry shouted.  
  
"I am NOT standing here whilst my girlfriend bleeds to death doing NOTHING! I am a damn good doctor and I will save her now MOVE!" He shouted as he pulled on a pair of gloves and a disposable gown. Carter did not wait to hear a reply, he simply stood over Abby and surveyed the damage. She had two gun shot wounds to her abdomen that were bleeding heavily. She had lost and was still losing so much blood. Carter's stomach began to turn. He was dying inside. He was trying desperately to keep a professional attitude; he would be most helpful to Abby if he remained in this state. However, he was not sure how long he was going to hold up. He felt like he was about to vomit any second and he vision was beginning to blur. His world was collapsing around him, and he was plummeting into a place so dark he didn't even want to function anymore. The sight before him drove him on however, and kept him from residing to that place.  
  
"She needs to go up to the OR!" He exclaimed. "The bullet's ruptured her lung, she needs surgery now!"  
  
"Think clearly Carter for God's sake!" Susan shouted back at him. "We need to stabilise her, she wouldn't make it up to surgery."  
  
"Ok, give me, give me that, ya know . . . " Carter instructed to Pratt.  
  
"What man? Give you what?"  
  
"Come on Pratt!! Give me the. . ."  
  
Kerry stepped in and placed a hand on his shoulder. "John . . ."  
  
"NO KERRY! I KNOW WHAT I MEAN! I JUST. . .just . . ." With that he threw the tools tray over and hit the wall behind him with fury. He was not helping her at all like this, he was a mess. Tears began to stream down his face and he felt a hand on his back. He turned around to see Luka's face. The two men looked into each other's eyes. Luka's face told Carter that he was there to offer support.  
  
"Come on Carter. I think you would be more use to Abby if you stood beside her and held her hand." The Croatian told him.  
  
Carter stood for a few seconds, before nodding his head. He moved out of the way and walked around the bed to Abby's left side, picking up her small delicate hand he had held so many times when the two of them were together in public. He had held it, simply because he wanted to be physically connected to her, as well as wanting everybody to know that she was the woman he loved. It seemed ironic now, that whilst he knew, and everybody else knew, she was the one that did not know. He brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed it lightly. This time he was not holding onto her simply for pleasure, he was holding onto her life. He entwined his fingers with hers and leaned in close to her pale face. "I love you Abby, I love you so much."  
  
Suddenly, a sharp alarm sounded throughout the room. Susan and Kerry eyed each other before jumping into action.  
  
  
  
"Gallant! Get over here now!" Susan shouted. Gallant ran over to Abby's side.  
  
  
  
"OK bag her. Carter, you need to step away."  
  
  
  
Without a word of warning Susan pushed Carter away from Abby, and Gallant stepped close to Abby's mouth, placing the mask over her face. Carter's hands slipped from hers and he felt as though there was now a world between them.  
  
"Sat's are dropping." Pratt exclaimed.  
  
"OK, she's hypercalcemic, give her ten units of insulin and defib." Weaver instructed Pratt.  
  
"Get a repeat potassium" Susan shouted.  
  
Carter stood watching, with Luka and Chen either side of him.  
  
"She's in V-tach!" Gallant cried out.  
  
"Charging to 200. " Susan spoke, as she ran to the resuscitation cart, grabbing the panels and placing them on Abby's chest. "Clear."  
  
Carter's heart was now beating so fast. He could not believe this was happening, what had gone wrong? What had he done to deserve such a thing?  
  
"Still V-tach." Pratt stated.  
  
"Charging to 300." Susan said again. "Clear."  
  
"Still V-tach."  
  
"Charging to 360, I need one hundred of lidocaine and an amp of calcium. Clear!" Susan instructed.  
  
Another alarm sounded. "Lost the pulse" Gallant cried.  
  
"Damn it she's in V-fib. Start CPR. Clear!"  
  
Pratt moved to the other side of the bed and began chest compressions.  
  
"Still V-fib!" Gallant shouted, starting to panic.  
  
"Michael, stay focused!" Kerry instructed. She looked over at Carter who was staring wide-eyed at the scene before him, covering his mouth with his hand in shock.  
  
  
  
"Charging again to 360." Susan pressed on.  
  
Pratt looked at the monitors. "Potassium 7.5, Puls/ox is 60."  
  
"Clear!"  
  
"Asystole!" Cried Gallant.  
  
"Damn it!" Susan cried out.  
  
"How much atropine has she been given?" Asked Kerry.  
  
"Two amps." Pratt replied.  
  
"When was the last epi?"  
  
"About three minutes ago."  
  
Everyone in the room fell silent as the continuous alarm, signalling asystole, continued to sound. Everyone looked at one another, and then one by one faces turned towards Carter. He started them in the eyes.  
  
"No. . .no you can't stop now. You CAN'T!!" He rushed to Abby's side and took her face in his hands. "Come on! Abby wake up, come on please! I love you! You can't leave me! Please Abby . . . please."  
  
Susan looked at Pratt, signalling for him to stop chest compressions. Kerry looked at Susan.  
  
"You want to call it?"  
  
Susan sighed, a lone tear falling down her cheek. "Time of death, 10.15 am"  
  
Carter stared at Abby, her lifeless body in front of him. He was no longer able to put on a brave face, no longer able to hold a professional manner, no longer able to keep himself from falling into the dark pit. His world was meaningless, the one person he loved with all his heart had been taken from him, and she would never know that she was his world, his heart, his soul, his everything. The world seemed to stop turning and blackness overtook him once more, this time maybe forever.  
  
- - -  
  
The black turned to grey and the grey to light. He could feel his body, and he could feel the coldness of the substance he sat upon. His back was leant against a hard surface and his legs stretched out before him. His eyes adjusted to the surroundings and he could make out . . . a toilet? His hands and eyes reverted downwards to the tiled floor he was sat upon. He was, he was in a toilet cubicle. Before he had a chance to process another thought, a creaking was heard and footsteps entered the room he was in. A male voice then filled the room.  
  
"Doctor Carter, Abby's just been brought in!"  
  
His head snapped up, and his eyes bulged. It had all been a dream. 


	6. Reality

Sorry again for delay in updating although this one has come relatively quickly, seeing as it's me. Thanks for the great reviews from last chapter, really appreciate it I am so glad I managed to fool you all! JUST what I wanted to do. This is another suspense chapter so hope it was worth the wait. There are more chapters to come and this chapter has been really fun to write so hopefully I will get some more written soon. Before you read this you might wanna download "The Difference" by Matchbox 20. Kinda relates. Lyrics are in ' '  
  
* Warning *, be prepared for some curse language and mild adult themes. Does Abby die or doesn't she? Read on . . .  
  
- - -  
  
His heart raced so fast, he could feel it thudding against his chest. Beads of sweat covered his forehead, his hands and his breaths were coming out as pants. Frank's voice continued to echo through his head for what seemed like a second time. He jumped to his feet and staggered against the wall, grabbing hold of the toilet roll holder to steady himself. As soon as his surroundings had stopped spinning and he could finally see straight, Carter turned around, unbolted the door and pushed it open with such force the bang it made resulted in him and Frank jumping slightly. Carter strode over to Frank and placed his hands on Frank's shoulders, causing Frank to eye him rather peculiarly.  
  
"Where you . . . Frank were you just in here?"  
  
"No Doctor Carter. What do you mean?"  
  
"I . . . I must have been dreaming." He said to himself rather than to Frank. He released his hands from Frank's shoulders and walked over to the sink. Staring at himself in the mirror, he bowed his head down and splashed his face with cold water. The feeling of the chilly liquid against his skin brought him back to the reality of the situation. Although Abby had not just died in the trauma room, she was still out there, right outside this room in fact, in God knows what state. The dream could have been a premonition. Carter had seen it on television, had read about it in newpapers. People dreaming a dream that was so real, then finding that it was a prediction of what was actually about to happen. The dream - his dream, had been so real. Frank's words, the exact words that were spoken in his dream. He could not go through it again. He could not be in that trauma room, watching Susan and Kerry desperately trying revive Abby, watching Haleh give him that sickening look of pity and melancholy. He wanted it all to go away, the whole situation. He just wanted to be at home, on the sofa, with his girlfriend in his arms. Was that really too much to ask for? Maybe he was still dreaming. Maybe this was still the same dream. It had appeared to be this real before, maybe it still was, and he would wake up in a minute at home, in bed with Abby.  
  
'Slow dancing on the boulevard  
  
In the quiet moments while the city's still dark  
  
Sleepwalking through the summer rain and the tired spaces  
  
You could hear her name when she was warm and tender  
  
And you held her arms around you  
  
There was nothing but her love and affection  
  
She was crazy for you'  
  
He turned around from the sink to face a worried and confused looking Frank.  
  
"Is this a dream? Is this really happening?"  
  
Frank closed his eyes for a second before looking at the floor and then back up to face his distraught colleague. "I know this is hard, but you really should get out there. You're no good to her in here."  
  
Carter sighed. Guess that theory was too good to be true. He looked back at Frank. "Is she bad Frank? At least tell me that."  
  
"I couldn't tell you. Someone just shouted for me to go find you. I ran in here before I had a chance to see."  
  
Same details as the dream. Carter knew he had to go out there, and face the situation once more, this time for real. It was not looking good, all the details of the dream were occurring and pointing to the dreaded outcome - Abby was going to die, and he was going to watch it happen, being able to do absolutely nothing to save her. He had been training to save lives since he was eighteen years old. He had studied medicine at a damn good college, slaved away as a med. student for years, worked his way up to chief resident, and all for what? So he could just stand there and observe the one person in this world that he was actually in love with die? This was not going to happen again. He was going to go out there, face whatever he was faced with, and do everything he could possible do on this earth to save her. No one was going to stand in his way. He prepared himself for blood and for her lifeless body as he stormed out of the bathroom and into the ER.  
  
'Now she's part of something that you lost'  
  
He stood still, outside the bathroom as he was faced with the scene in front of him. This was not the same as his dream, this was no longer a lifeless ER. People stood still: patients, doctors, and nurses. Frightened faces crowded at the admit desk, staring at the doors to the ER.  
  
Susan, who was standing in front of the desk, at the near side to the doors looked round and spotted him. She locked eyes with him before muttering, "Carter no."  
  
This unnerved Carter more than Haleh's look in the dream. What the hell were they all staring at? Where was Abby? He slowly made his way over to the front of the desk and the sight that greeted him as he stood beside Susan, and amongst the rest of the ER staff, was one he could have never prepared himself for in this lifetime. Abby stood before them, being held at gun point.  
  
'Night swimming in her diamond dress  
  
Making small circles move across the surface  
  
Stand watching from the steady shore  
  
Feeling wide open and waiting for  
  
Something warm and tender  
  
Now she's moving further from you  
  
There was nothing that could make it easy on you  
  
Every step you take reminds you that she's walking wrong'  
  
Carter's breath caught as he staggered backwards from the shock. He leant against the desk to steady himself as he took in the sight before him. A white, middle aged man, approximately in his forties, with eyes as wide and as insane as you could imagine, stood, with a strong hand clasped over Abby's mouth. The same arm was wound tight around her neck, and she was obviously finding it hard to breathe as she struggled and choked frequently. His left hand held a silver shot gun to her left temple, his second finger positioned over the trigger. Abby's face appeared to have been beaten, as there were large red marks on either side of her face and deep cuts to her chin and above her right eye. This was all so hard for Carter to take in, but the worst part was the look on her face as her eyes found his for the first time. They held fear, so much fear, but through the fear, there was love. Although the words were not and had not been spoken, it was felt right there and then between the two of them. Carter's eyes were wide and burnt straight into hers. Tears began to well up in both of their eyes. Tears signifying fright, worry, anguish. A fear that the love felt might not be strong enough to save her. Through all the emotions felt in this one moment in time, words were finally spoken.  
  
"Well, this is all very tense isn't it! Guess I came to the right place for a bit of drama. Sure has brightened up my day!"  
  
The male's sarcastic tone burnt holes through the staff at County General. One of their own, a friend to many, was being held at gun point, on the brink of her own death. Susan's cold voice suddenly cut though the silence as Carter stayed silent besides her, unable to form words as his eyes still were fixed on the woman, his woman, before him.  
  
"What the hell do you want?"  
  
"Well, that is a nice way to speak to me isn't it lady? Very smart of you, speaking to me like I am a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe when I am holding a loaded gun to your colleague's head. I like your spunk!"  
  
Susan did not say a word but her eyes told of all the hatred she was feeling towards this man.  
  
"Surely you've seen the movies, thought you would have figured it by now. You're all Doctors, pretty smart people right?" The man looked around to see numerous frightened and angry faces. "Well, guess not. This is a hospital right? You save people, that's what you're meant to do? Well, at least that is what I thought growing up, and even up until a few weeks ago that was what I thought. I gave credit to people like you, and this one here." He glanced down at the frightened Abby he still held tightly in his grasp. "Well I must have been pretty dumb myself! My wife, she came into this very hospital exactly three weeks ago with lung cancer, on her death bed she was. I brought her here, to a place where people are trained to save lives and what did you useless piss heads do?! NOT A BLOODY THING! YOU LET HER DIE! My own wife, the one person in this world who loved me. So, you asked the question what the hell am I doing here? It is simple lady . . . revenge. See, I went into the woods this morning, looking for a little fun. Haven't had that in a while ya see."  
  
"You're insane." Susan growled.  
  
"No, not insane. Bored. Started shooting around, felt good, to hold that much power. I have felt so helpless these past few weeks; it made me feel good, like I was doing something to help me. Then, I came across this beauty here. It seemed like fate, a young and attractive woman right in my line of shot, but something about this one caught my eye. This. . . this right here." He pointed to the laminated clip-on badge Abby had attached to her pants. It was her County General security photo card. "Right from the hell hole that killed my Darcy. So . . . instead of killing her right there and then, 'cause face it, that would've been boring, I thought I would bring her here, and kill her in front of all you bastards, who might actually give a damn about her."  
  
Carter tensed. Every bone in his body tensed up at that moment, his jaw set and his voice came out as a snarl. "You son of a bitch."  
  
Susan placed her hand on Carter's forearm to stop him from moving. "Carter . . ."  
  
"Ooooh, look what we have here. Could this be the boyfriend? Ya know, I noticed the way you were looking at her before. You must be a lucky man. How I'd love to bang her every night." With that he began thrusting his hips forward a couple of times before bending down to licked the side of Abby's face as she squirmed in his grasp.  
  
These actions and words pushed Carter over the edge. He lurched forward, and that was driving him forward was bind anger. He ignored the numerous shouts from Susan, Chen and the other doctors who were calling him back. His mind was a haze, he was numb. He felt nothing until pain shot though his face. The man's fist shot through the air at such force and connected with Carter's nose. Carter stumbled backwards and hit the floor with force. The punch was not enough to knock him out, but blood began to poor from his nose and he suspected the man had broken it due to the outright pain he felt. He lay on the floor for a few seconds, not wanting to move, not wanting to see Abby in such pain and terror. The physical pain he was feeling was not nearly as agonizing as the emotional pain he felt inside. He wanted to lie like that forever but a noise, a noise so distressing, brought him back to existence. A shot, a clear, crisp gun shot was heard about a metre away from where he lay. Screams were heard throughout the ER and Carter felt like the world was about to come crashing down on him.  
  
'Every word you never said  
  
Echoes down your empty hallway  
  
And everything that was your world  
  
Just came down'  
  
A thump was heard as a lifeless body collapsed onto the ground beside him. His eyes closed in pain as he refused to look at the body, at her body. This was not happening again. Although the dream's details had turned out to be wrong, the ending was the same. His eyes slowly opened and his head slowly turned to the right, and rested on the form besides him. His form. The gunman's bleeding form. A feeling rushed through his body like one never felt before. Relief. He slowly picked himself up off the ground and his eyes first of all rested upon a tall police officer, standing in the doorway, shouting at everyone to stay calm. Then, Carter's eyes rested on an image far more important to him. Abby. Standing, alive, breathing. Her eyes drifted from the man's body on the floor to her lover's eyes. It was only them in the room now. Three metres or so separated them, as they continued to stare at one another, mouths open, eyes burning into one another's souls. No words could describe what they were both feeling right now. They were here, they were safe and they were with one another. Carter could not bear the feeling of being without her a moment longer. He walked slowly towards her, closing the gap between them by the second. His brows furrowed and he pursed his lips as tears began to stream down his face. Abby continued to stare at the man before her with her lips slightly parted, eyes huge and filling up with tears. Tears of joy, of grief, of love. She finally threw her arms around Carter's neck, as he pulled her to him with such force. His arms wrapped firmly around her waste, never wanting to release her. He buried his head into her shoulder as she pressed her face against his chest. They cried into one another, both feeling as if the tears would never stop flowing, just like their love for one another would never stop flowing.  
  
"I love you" he whispered through the tears, almost inaudible.  
  
She heard his words, as though they were created only for her, just like he was. "I love too."  
  
'Day breaking on the boulevard  
  
Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart  
  
Light swimming right across your face  
  
And you think maybe someday, yeah  
  
Maybe someday'  
  
- - -  
  
YEY Carby fuzz! That's a first for this story! Hope you all loved it. Please please please please review, you don't know how happy it makes me and it really motivates me into writing more . . . what the hell is the point when I don't know you guys are enjoying it right? More fuzz to come next chapter. ***Laura*** 


	7. The Other Side

A few hours had passed and the commotion of the morning had finally died down. The patients that had witnessed the ordeal had either left straight after, or had been taken in an ambulance to Mercy whilst police matters at County were taken care of. The critical patients had stayed put and continued to be treated. The staff were now back into their normal routines, treating patients and doing charts. However, two employees were not carrying out their customary tasks, they were on the other side', as some might say, and not for the first time.  
  
Carter had not left Abby's side since he had gathered her into his arms just a few hours ago. He had escorted her to the lounge, sat her down and let her cry into him, as he cried into her. He had held her so close to him that he could feel every shaky breath she took, and rubbed her back tenderly until her body had stopped trembling. He had asked her if she wanted to tell him what had happened but she clearly was not ready. He understood, he always understood. Numerous members of staff had approached them, asking the obvious questions: if there was anything they needed, or how they were feeling. Carter had felt like shouting how the hell do you think?!, but had retrained himself, for Abby's sake. After an hour or so, they had stopped coming in, hopefully taking the hint that the two   
needed some alone time. They were both now still securely situated in the lounge, not wanting to move, but not wanting to stay in the hospital for another second. Abby sat with her feet curled beneath her, pressed to Carter's side with her arms wrapped around his middle and her face buried into his chest. This was a rare moment, when Abby actually admitted she needed protecting. Her body language now was screaming to Carter that he was her lifeline, and that she could not survive a second without him by her side. This made Carter feel joyful and dismal all at the same time. He loved the feeling of being needed, it hardly ever happened when he was with Abby, but he hated seeing her this way-so vulnerable and so out of character. He wanted his tough exterior girlfriend back, the one he fell in love with, the one he couldn't live without.   
  
His chin flew up from the top of her head when the door creaked open. His eyes locked with Susan's silently, as Abby's head never left his chest. Susan began to whisper.  
  
Sorry for interrupting.  
  
Carter smiled tightly. It's ok. He looked down at Abby's resting form, and stroked her hair lovingly.  
  
Susan stood silent for a few moments, watching the interaction between the two of them. It was an emotional sight, even for the onlooker. I hate to say this but you both need to be examined.  
  
Carter's head shot back up.   
  
Carter I know you're going to say it's not necessary but believe me it is. Abby's covered in wounds, some visible to us, some that may not be. We need to asses the extent of her injuries.  
  
OK I agree with you on that one, but why me?  
  
Well, in case you hadn't noticed, your nose was pouring with blood and appears to me to be broken.  
  
Carter's hand reached up to his nose and he grimaced as his it came into contact with the fractured bone. He had forgotten all about his physical pain through the sheer volume of emotional pain he was feeling.  
  
Can you give us a minute? We'll be out soon.  
  
Susan smiled gently. Sure. I'll be waiting in exam two.  
  
Susan closed the door quietly behind her. Carter looked back down at Abby worriedly, who had not moved all the time Susan had been present in the room. He stroked her hair once more, before speaking softly to her.  
  
Abby? Abby, we need to move in a minute.  
  
She stirred softly, and lifted her head up to meet his eyes, still clinging tightly to his body. His heart almost broke as he saw the redness of her eyes and the pleading look she was giving him, to put things right, to take care of her, to rescue her.   
  
He leant forward and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Susan wants to examine us. I promise it won't take long, then we can go home.  
  
Will you stay with me? She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
His brown orbs melted into hers. Of course I will. He paused before removing her arms from around his back, and entwining his fingers with hers. He stood up and pulled her up off the couch, and then walking out the door into the ER with her hand clutched tightly in his. They received a number of sympathetic glances along the way, before reaching the exam room. Susan and Kerry awaited them in the empty room. Carter looked around, almost disbelieving that no one else was being treated there, then met eyes with Susan, before thanking her silently for the privacy she had obviously arranged. No words of sympathy were expressed by either doctor. Kerry simply smiled warmly at Abby, asking her gently to lie down on the gurney situated in the right hand corner of the room. The second of the two beds sat on the other side of the room, and Carter made his way over to it before being called back by Abby.  
  
John, stay with me.  
  
He did not even begin to hesitate as he quickly walked back over to her side. He perched on the edge of the gurney, by where her head lay, and stared into her eyes whilst taking a hold of her hand. Susan placed her hands on either side of his face, breaking his glance with Abby, as she turned his head to face her to begin examining his nose. Although he could not see her anymore, he still held onto her hand, squeezing it every so often to ensure her that he was there for her. Kerry moved over to the right hand side of the bed, moving the tools table over to Abby's side to begin cleaning her wounds. As she dabbed gently at the cuts on Abby's face she spoke to her softly.   
  
Abby, do you know if you've been hurt anywhere else?  
  
She looked around helplessly, not know what to say or do. She felt Carter's hand squeeze hers again, assuring her everything was all right.  
  
What-what do you mean?  
  
Can you remember if the man harmed you anywhere else?  
  
I...I can't remember.  
  
It's OK Abby. I'll have to do a full examination on you. Do you want us to go to a private area?  
  
She looked over towards Carter, who had his back to her. She then looked back at Weaver. No. I want Carter here.  
  
OK that's fine. She paused for a moment, looking at the ground briefly and then catching Susan's eye. Susan seemed to grimace slightly, as she closed her eyes for a moment before re opening them and focusing her attentions back on Carter. Kerry sat down on a chair besides the bed and focused on Abby. You are aware I'm going to have to do a rape exam on you?  
  
The world seem to stand still for all people in the room. Carter's eyes bulged before his head shot round and he started at Kerry, as if the words that had just left her mouth were the most ridiculous he had ever heard?  
  
What the hell Kerry? He asked before staring at Abby who looked at him with fear in her eyes. He shook his head at her, assuring her that there was nothing to worry about.  
  
John, you know it's compulsory.  
  
Only if she was unconscious!  
  
Kerry stared at him silently. He then turned to Abby for an answer but she looked away from him.   
  
You were unconscious?! Abby, you never told me that.  
  
A lone tear ran down her cheek before several more followed. I don't know. I...I can't remember everything.   
  
His brow furrowed, as his heart broke all over again. He leant in close to her, still holding the same hand and with his other, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. He leant in and softly kissed her mouth. It's ok, I won't let anything happen to you.  
  
Carter turned back around and looked Susan in the eye. Without hearing the words, she could read his expression clearly, and the cry for help he was sending her way.  
  
Uh, Kerry, I think I am going to have to take Carter up to X-Ray.  
  
Carter began to stand as Abby grabbed his arm. No. You can't!  
  
Her eyes pleaded with him. Abby, I have to. I'll be back down as soon as it's done. Doctor Weaver will be with you. Nothing's going to happen.  
  
I'm scared Carter. She whimpered.  
  
Tears began to fall from his eyes. He inwardly curled his lips and pressed his mouth down on them to keep himself from breaking down in front of her. You're going to be OK. He bent down and kissed her forehead. He went to stand back up but she held onto him.  
  
You promise?  
  
He swallowed the huge lump forming in this throat. I promise.  
  
He stood back up slowly, and walked towards the door where Susan stood, all the time keeping his eye contact with Abby. He smiled a weak smile before disappearing out of the door and leaving Kerry and Abby alone.  
  
He stood with Susan outside the room, pressing his back against the wall and leaning his head back, sighing heavily. She stood in front of him, arms crossed, eyeing him with a concerned look. They stood there for several minutes before he spoke up.  
  
Thanks for that in there.  
  
She smiled tightly. It's ok.  
  
I don't really need an X-Ray do I?  
  
She laughed. No. Unless you're more of a whimp than I thought!  
  
The corner of his mouth upturned. Hey, no need for that. Another pause. I just-I don't think I can take it. Being in there, watching her being examined in that way, for...for that reason. Knowing that maybe...maybe there's a chance that... His voice broke and he began to cry. Susan stepped forward and hugged her friend. She could not bear to see him like this. It was like one turmoil after another for him and Abby. They didn't deserve it, no one did.  
  
- - -  
  
Abby stepped out from behind the curtain in a gown Kerry had given her to change into. She was having deja vous from the last time she had to go through this ordeal, she just hoped it would end the same way.  
  
OK Abby, if you just lie down on the bed for me.  
  
Yeah, I know the drill.  
  
All Kerry could do was smile apologetically. She pulled up a chair besides Abby's bed. She knew how scared, awkward and embarrassed Abby must have been feeling at that moment. She hated to be the one having to do this. She sighed before asking the questions she knew had to be asked.   
  
Have you had intercourse in the last seventy two hours, Abby?  
  
Abby grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut tight for a moment, wishing she wasn't there, wasn't having her boss prying into her personal life by asking questions she knew were necessary.  
  
She swallowed.   
  
With the same partner?   
  
Abby gave Kerry a hard stare. She replied sternly.   
  
Abby, I have to ask.  
  
I know, I'm sorry.  
  
And when was the last time?  
  
She paused for a moment, calculating in her head. About fourteen hours ago.  
  
OK. No more questions. I just need to examine you now. It won't take a minute, then everything will be over.  
  
She closed her eyes and rested her head back against the pillow. She wanted everything to be over. She just wanted her life back.  
  
- - -   
  
OK I hope you guys liked that! I know, I said it was going to be fluffy and it turned out angsty again! I am just addicted to the angst! OK I need your help here. I don't wanna exactly give away the plot but I need some feedback on where you want the story to go. I'll put it this way: Do you want me to continue with the angst or go back to fluff?? I don't wanna go the wrong way and turn people away from my story you see. Either e-mail me with your views at summer_girl@anfmail.com or review review review! I didn't receive as many reviews from the last chapter as I would have hoped so please please please keep them coming! Special shout outs to drlewis, carby luva 313 and rainbow 345 uk for reviewing last chapter, especially drlewis and carby luva for being such dedicated reviewers! U guys rock I appreciate the feedback so so much! Makes this all worth it. Lol, I sound like a bubbling oscar winner!  
***Laura***  



	8. For Everything

The minute hand on the clock seemed to stay stationary, as it always did when you were watching it. For two people in particular, the world seemed to have stood still. Carter waited in the lounge with Susan, sitting in silence, thinking. Just thinking. Abby lay on the all too familiar gurney of exam two, her head embedded in the uncomfortable pillow as she stared at the white, arid ceiling above her, thinking. Just thinking. Two people who shared a deep and meaningful connection that nature had developed, yet were worlds apart.  
  
---  
  
Susan's hand on his knee brought him back to earth from his time away from the world he loathed so much at this moment. His sharp intake of breath indicated that she had startled him, and she immediately apologised.  
  
Sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you.  
  
He looked around the room briefly, taking into account his surroundings and allowing his mind to refocus and tell him again of the nightmare he was living. He turned towards Susan, giving her his full attention. She deserved that much at least. It's ok, I was just somewhere else.  
  
She gave him a half smile, turning up the left hand corner of her mouth before pausing slightly. I'm worried.  
  
He laughed somewhat sarcastically. That's an understatement if I ever heard one. He turned away and put his head in his hands, gripping the hair on either side of his head, distraught.   
  
No, I mean about you. I am worried about you.  
  
He sighed heavily. There's nothing for you to worry about, I am not the one lying in that hospital bed waiting to see if my life is about to be ruined for ever. Waiting to find out whether one piece of that bastard will remain with me for the rest of my life, whether he will ruin everything I have every worked for, ever lived for, and whether he will sabotage the one chance I had of a successful relationship.  
  
Susan stared at him. He was giving up hope, on everything. There were no tears, he was all cried out. He remained emotionless, dead. You're going to be no use to her thinking like that.  
  
Yeah, and just what am I supposed to be thinking Susan? That if these results come back telling us the unthinkable, that life is going to be all dandy? That Abby and I will go home and sit on the couch, make out, make love, just like any normal couple, just like we used to? Like nothing has happened?  
  
I mean, you can't give up just like that. You need to be strong for her John. She needs you, although she may never say it, she does.  
  
He still sat with his head lowered into his hands, his voice weak. I just don't know if I can keep being strong for her. This is killing me Susan, and do you know what the worrying thing is? She is outrightly showing me how much she needs me, and that is so unlike her. This is the most vulnerable I have ever seen her and it scares me, it scares me so much that she is acting so out of character. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't.  
  
Susan reached over and placed a hand on his back. He was trembling under her touch. You need to get some rest you know. You've fainted, puked your guts out and broken your nose, all in the space of a few hours. That's not a healthy combination if you ask me.  
  
No. I am staying here and staying conscious. I am not moving until I know.  
  
Susan sighed. There was a stubborn streak to John Carter, and she was seeing it in its full glory now. OK, if you say so. I am not letting you out of my sight though.  
  
He laughed slightly. Thanks Susan. For everything.  
  
She smiled, even though he could not see her. Any time.  
  
They sat there in silence until the sound of the door disrupted their thoughts. Both pairs of heads shot up to meet the sight of a grim looking Doctor Weaver.   
  
I've got Abby's results.  
  
---  
  
Abby had asked to be left alone for a few moments after Kerry had conducted the examination. She needed time to collect her thoughts, and to just be alone. Deep inside however, she craved company, she craved John's company. Throughout her entire life, she had never been so dependant upon one person as she was right now. When going through the abortion, she had wanted to be alone. When going through her mother's traumatic disappearances, she had wanted to deal alone. But ever since this man had walked into her life, something had changed. He devoted every inch of himself to her, she knew she was his world, and he was hers. She could not quite put her finger on it but something had clicked, it was like he was her missing piece, as cliché and cheesy as that sounded to her, it was true. She believed she truly had found her soul mate and now, it was all about to come crashing down. She knew they would not survive if this happened. She would recoil into herself and never come out, he would desperately try to help her, try to get her back and it would eventually kill him emotionally. He would get sick of her and her problems and leave one day out of the blue. It was like the plot for a bad movie or tv show story line. She could see the outcome so clearly, it scared her half to death. Just this morning she was so happy. Lying in bed with her boyfriend, taking part in their playful banter they had both grown accustomed to over the weeks. Weeks. They had only been together' as an official couple for a few weeks. It seemed like years to her. Many happy years. In reality, she supposed she could count their time together' as years, their feelings for each other had been there since the day they had been introduced to one another by Mark. They may not have been evident to her, or to him back then, but they had been. She could not even begin to imagine a time when this man had not been a part of her life, and she could not not even begin to imagine a life without him in the future. It was too unbearable to think about. She was going to have to deal though. One day, in thirty years time, she would wake up and John Carter would be a distant memory, a happy memory she could tell her grandchildren about. The day I met my soul mate. Why was she depressing herself like this? Why were these incoherent thoughts running thought her head at a million miles an hour and she was still ending up at the same conclusion? Her and Carter were doomed. This final statement was confirmed as Kerry stepped into her room.   
  
Abby, I have your results. She spoke, quietly, carefully.  
  
Abby nodded slightly, unable to speak, unable to move.  
  
Would you like me to go and get John?  
  
Again she nodded, Mmm hmmm, before her face crumpled, and tears began rolling down her face.   
  
Kerry watched, heartbroken. I'll be back in a minute.  
  
Abby watched her retreating form. Her world was about to come crumbling down around her and there was nothing she could do about it.  
  
---  
  
He walked through the halls of the ER, passing familiar faces, receiving those all too familiar sympathetic looks. He wished he could just scream at them to stop looking at him like that, like his whole life was about to be taken away from him and they were all so sorry about it. One by one, their faces blurred past him into an invisible vortex that his mind had created, and he walked on, along his own green mile. He stopped outside the door to the exam room and contemplated his whole situation. Did he really want to walk into that room? Did he want to know what he already knew was impending? It could not possibly be good news, nothing ever was when concerning him and Abby, they had been doomed from the start. He knew he had to go in there though. Although his head was telling him to run now, his heart was telling him he had to be there for her, not just had to, but wanted to. The day he had first kissed her in that stuffy exam room, he had made a silent commitment to himself and to her, to be there for her no matter what. That was what loving someone meant, and that was what he was going to do. Love her. He pushed the door open and walked in, to face her lying on the same bed, in a hospital gown and fear written all over her face, despite her attempt to cover it up. He could tell just by looking at her that she was trying to act strong, just as she always did. Kerry walked in behind him and closed the door shut to offer the couple some privacy. Carter made his way slowly over to Abby's side, smiling tightly as he held her gaze, appearing to act strong, even though they both knew he was dying as much as she was. He perched on the right hand side of the bed, immediately taking a hold of her hand and blanketing it in both of his. His thumbs rubbed small circles on her soft skin, as if desperately trying to rub any fears she had away with the small action. He smiled slightly as she placed her free hand on the inside of his thigh, gripping him firmly, holding onto him in a physical manner.   
  
Kerry pulled up a chair besides the bed, next to where Carter perched. She held no clipboard, no paper, just the all important information she carried inside of her head. She eyed Abby's form, seeing her face etched with every emotion under the sun: fear, anger, agony. She knew her head was telling her to be strong, but her heart was gripping onto her only available lifeline. John. In a way, he appeared weaker emotionally than Abby did. He had been through hell and back today, and by the looks of his stature, it appeared to be taking its toll. He looked physically drained. She could not bear to keep them in suspense any longer than she had to.  
  
OK Abby, well you know I conducted the examination. I have the results back now, and am pleased to say that there was no sign of sexual abuse  
  
The room was filled with an eerie silence. Carter's hands tightened on Abby's and her hand gripped his leg even more firmly than before. No words were spoken for quite some time as Kerry's words sunk in. Abby was the first one to break the silence.   
  
You mean...nothing?  
  
Yeah, you're completely in the clear. Well, saying that, you do have facial wounds and have a slight concussion, so I am going to advise you take a couple of days off to rest.  
  
Carter laughed. Oh don't you worry, she'll be taking more than a couple of days off.  
  
Kerry smiled. OK, well I am going to leave you two alone. I'll go and discharge you, so you're free to go whenever. She got up out of her seat then stopped, turning back around. Oh and John? Take care of her.  
  
He simply nodded, not able to take his eyes off of the woman besides him. The door closed and they were now left alone. Just him and her, no worries hanging over their heads, no interruptions, just them.  
  
Abby finally let out a huge sigh, leaning her head far back against the wall behind her. She still held onto Carter, not wanting to break the contact. He stayed silent besides her, letting her collect her own thoughts at her own pace, not wanting to rush her into anything. She turned to him after a few long, drawn out moments of silence.  
  
I was sure it was going to say...  
  
He reached up, placing a finger on her lips gently. Shhh, don't even say it. It's over now, and everything is fine. You're ok.  
  
She smiled before kissing his fingertip. She took his hand in hers and lay it on her lap. We're ok. She leant over towards him, craving his closeness, just wanting to show him how much she valued the love and support he had provided throughout these past few strenuous hours. Her hand found its place on the back of his neck, and she brought his face down to her level, savouring the way his deep brown eyes burnt into hers in a somewhat dopey manner. Their lips connected, brushing against each others tenderly, ever so lightly, as if they had all the time in the world. There was no intense passion in the kiss, just simple butterfly touches, each of them reminding the other of how deep their love ran. She played with the delicate hairs on the nape of his neck, as he simply placed a hand on her hip, each of them knowing, without words, that just a simple touch was needed. After a last lingering kiss, Abby pulled away slightly, but leaving their faces still just inches apart. She could feel his breath on her skin, and stared into his deep eyes for a moment longer before leaning in close to his ear.   
  
Can you take me home now? She whispered softly, simply.  
  
Carter pulled back, allowing him to take all of her in with his eyes, savouring every detail. I thought you'd never ask.  
  
OK, well just give me five minutes to change and I'll be all yours.  
  
Sounds good to me. I'll gather your stuff together from your locker, and will meet you back in here in a few minutes.  
  
He got up to leave, but stayed stationary, standing by the side of the bed as she still held onto his hand. He looked at her questioningly.   
  
I just...thank you. For everything. There's nothing else I can say apart from thank you.  
  
It's what you do for someone you love more than life itself.  
  
There was a split second's silence before they both burst into laughter.   
  
John Carter-king of cheesy clichés! She laughed.  
  
Yeah yeah, mock me. I don't care. With that he leant in once more and pecked her lightly on the lips before exiting the room.   
  
He spotted Susan standing at the admit desk talking to Deb, and so he walked over to tell her the relieving news.   
  
Well, someone looks pleased. I am guessing it was good news? Susan asked, her grin widening as she spoke.  
  
Is it that obvious how happy I am?  
  
Deb entered the conversation. Well, that grin you're sporting is wide enough to fit ten apples through!  
  
Susan and Carter both gave her raised eyebrows.   
  
Ok ok, so I am not one for metaphorical comparisons, but I am pleased John. We were all so worried.  
  
Yeah, I am so pleased. Susan added. Where is she now?  
  
She's just getting dressed, and I am gonna go get her stuff together from her locker, and get mine together before taking her home. As you can guess she's exhausted, and Weaver has given her time off, so I am gonna make sure she does not move from the bed!  
  
Now it was the two women who sported accusing looks.   
  
You two are disgusting! Only one thing on the mind. Seriously, you need boyfriends!   
  
Yeah yeah, whatever, oh so smug one in a relationship! Don't rub it in our faces. Susan taunted.  
  
Carter made a mocking face, as he left the desk and began walking towards the lounge.  
  
Hey Carter! Susan called back.  
  
  
  
I still mean what I said. You need rest too you know, although everything is fine now, it does not mean you forget about your physical health. You still look exhausted, and it's worrying me.  
  
He waved his hand dismissingly before heading for the lounge once more. Everything is fine Susan. Everything's fine.  
  
---  
  
OK well there you go guys! I am so proud I managed to get this one up so quickly (well for my standards). It took me a total of three days to write but hey, I hope it was worth it. Thank you all so much for the great reviews that came from last chapter, and the lovely e-mails I received. I loved reading them so much it was so pleasing to know you all love the story so much. This is the first story I have posted on ff.net that has lasted more than 3 chapters so I must be doing something right (I hope). All advice was taken into account and I hope I have incorporated all of your useful comments and suggestions in this chapter. The helpful criticism was also much appreciated and I took it all into account and hopefully put things right. Any other suggestions, criticisms are much appreciated, as well as the odd praise, ya know how it is! So please, keep the reviews coming. They are what push me to post as quickly as I am able to! No reviews...no chapter (well, unless you wanna wait 3 months for me to find motivation).  
***Laura***  
  



	9. You Belong To Me

The room was dark, except for the gleam of moonlight that slid subtly between the gap in the curtains. The room was warm except for the slight breeze that blew from the open window. Carter turned his head to the right, and glanced at the bright green digital numbers that leapt out at him in the darkness from the alarm clock situated on the night stand.   
  
01:14  
  
He at least thought it would be somewhere near dawn but obviously the few hours that had passed him by had seemed longer than they actually were. He had not been able to sleep, not one wink, since him and Abby had crawled into the familiar comfort of the bed some three hours ago. He had lain besides her, watching. His arm lay firmly around her waist, holding her to him. She had her back to him and so her head lay against his upper chest, his chin resting on the top of her head. He was content enough just feeling her chest rise and fall against his arm, breathing, alive. This past day had probably been the worst day of his life, right on par with losing his brother, although he was young then. Today, he had almost lost the one person in his life who he loved more than anything. If he had lost her, he would not have been able to cope, and he knew that. He was drawn to her, and knew that they had met for a reason, they were made for one another. Living without her in his life just wasn't an option.   
  
He lifted his free arm from underneath her slightly, so there was just enough movement free for him to play with her hair. He loved doing this, it was such a simple action yet spoke volumes. He stroked the hair down the side of her head and down to where it rested messily below her shoulder. She was so beautiful, it was hard to believe she belonged to him, and he belonged to her. He knew he would be so alone without her, and maybe she would be lonesome too, wherever they were, whatever divided them. He continued to stare at her, and hold her, as she began to softly stir.  
  
She mumbled wearily, unmoving.  
  
He stayed silent for a moment before answering. Mm hmm?  
  
Why are you still awake? She asked, turning round in his embrace so she could face him. He placed both arms around her back but held her at a slight distance so he was able to look at her. She placed both hands against his chest, rubbing softly at the cotton of his t-shirt.  
  
Because I was watching you. He stated before kissing the top of her head.   
  
You really should get some rest. She spoke wearily, before closing the gap between them and snuggling her body into the warmth of his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso.  
  
Don't worry about me, you just concentrate on resting.  
  
There was silence in the room for a few moments, and just as he was certain she had fallen asleep, she broke the hush.  
  
Do you have to work tomorrow, today, whatever it is?  
  
Yeah, but I can take the day off. I was thinking of doing that anyway.  
  
No, don't. I'll be fine.  
  
Abby, you don't have to pretend you know. He said, stroking hands up and down her back.  
  
Carter I'm not. Really. You go and work, you'd just be fussing over me if you were here anyway. She snuggled closer into him, entwining her legs with his, signalling the end of the conversation.  
  
His foot rubbed against hers soothingly for some time, revelling in the closeness of her. They stayed in that position for hours, Abby sleeping soundly, Carter watching over her, in his conscious state.   
  
Some hours later he looked at the clock for what seemed to be the millionth time. The digits now read 06.56, and he immediately reached a hand over to disable the alarm, so as not to wake up Abby. He was due in at work in just over an hour, and found it hard to climb out of bed. Not only was he going into a twelve hour shift on zero hours sleep, he was also leaving his girlfriend, just one day after he had left her in the same way and he had lived his worst nightmare as a result. He did not want to leave her, not one bit of him wanted to, but he knew she would be unhappy with him if he chose to stay. Abby was independent, strong, and liked to believe she was capable to doing things alone, as she had always been required to, with no choice in the matter. Now she had someone to rely on and to lean on, she did not know how to adapt, and how to need. Therefore, if Carter was seen to be interfering, he would know about it, and the consequences were usually not pretty. It was one thing they were going to have to work though together as a couple. He gently wriggled out of Abby's embrace, slowly climbing out of the double bed he had grown accustomed to thinking of his' aswell as hers' in the past few weeks. Neither of the singular pronouns seemed appropriate anymore, but rather the plural. Ours'. He leant over his side of the bed to reach her on the opposite side, and made sure the duvet was covering her exposed skin, and wrapped securely around her body. It was a poor substitute for his absence, but at least it was something. After giving her one last longing look, he padded over to the bathroom to begin his morning routine once again.  
  
- - -  
  
The automatic doors to the Emergency Room opened before him, as if giving him an eerie welcome. He glanced down at the spot on the floor, marked only yesterday by police taping, where the man, if Carter could even call him that, had fallen down on the ground to his death. He had been briefly told by Susan, yesterday, that the man had been killed immediately by the armed police officer who had attended the scene. Carter had not wanted to know any more details, the only thing of importance was that the man was out of his and Abby's lives for good and no reminders were needed of him from now on. Carter shook the thoughts out of his head as he faced the familiar scenery in front of him. He carried himself and his satchel though the doors and into his place of work. He was greeted immediately by smiling faces. Gallant walked past him first, asking politely how Abby was doing.  
  
Just fine thanks, Carter replied, grateful of his med student's authentic concern. Luka was the next member of staff to approach him, as Carter met him in the lounge as he began putting his belongings away and retrieved his scrub top and lab coat from his locker. Luka was seated at the table, reading a newspaper.  
  
Carter, surprised to see you in today.  
  
Carter smiled tightly as he closed his locker, leaning against it slightly to address his colleague as he snaked his stethoscope around his neck. Yeah, well, you know things get, can't stay away from the place.  
  
Luka chucked slightly before reverting his eyes back to the paper. You decided not to stay home with Abby then? He asked after a short moments silence, eyes still reverted downwards.  
  
Carter turned back towards his locker, opening it once more as he undid his shirt and tie, placing them on the shelf as he pulled the green scrub top over his head. No, ah, she didn't want me to. He spoke, struggling to get the twisted top over his head. Once it was successfully in place he closed the door once again and focused his attentions on Luka. You know how Abby is.  
  
Again, Luka chucked, now looking up at Carter. Yes. How is she?  
  
Yeah, she's doing great actually. I think just more relieved than anything. Yeah, she's a little shook up but who wouldn't be? Deb has the day off today, so I made sure I called her this morning, asking her to stop round. Despite what Abby said, I don't think I can leave her on her own.  
  
Luka eyed him, somewhat amused by Carter's babbling. Ok. I'm just surprised. I thought you would have stayed home with her.  
  
Carter leant against his locker door, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed as he shook his head slightly to himself. What makes you say that Luka?  
  
The Croatian paused slightly, before standing to his feet and walked over towards the coffee machine. He briefly raised his eyebrows, politely offering Carter coffee, but Carter's furrowed brows and quick shake of his head indicated his refusal. As he was pouring the steaming liquid into a mug Luka continued. Well, it's just, you seemed to always have been there for her, even before you two were a couple. Just, when something as big as this happens to her, it surprises me that you are leaving her on her own.  
  
Carter shuffled slightly against his locker. Are you suggesting I don't care about her?  
  
Luka took a sip of his coffee, eyeing Carter over the rim, before placing it down besides him, facing his colleague from the opposite side of the room as he leant back against the cabinet the coffee machine rested upon. No no, not at all. I was just simply stating...  
  
'Cause I bet that's what you really want isn't it? Me to admit I don't care about her, so you can jump in and be the knight in shining armour!  
  
Luka chuckled slightly. Describing yourself there aren't you Carter?  
  
Excuse me?! Carter folded his arms defensively over his chest.  
  
Well, that's what you did. Jumped in when me and Abby broke up. Now you have her, I congratulate you on your efforts.  
  
How dare you! You don't know the half of it Luka.  
  
Oh really? Please, inform me.  
  
You know what? I can't believe I am wasting my breath. Facts are I love Abby, she loves me. That's more than your relationship ever had. With that he stormed out of the lounge and into the ER.  
  
- - -  
  
Carter had been avoiding Luka for the rest of the morning. Facts were, he was still seething with anger from the conversation the two had had but also, he was slightly embarrassed. He had once again over reacted and made a fool out of himself' as Susan would have put it. It was an echo of what had happened all those months ago at the seminar. Same situation too, he was jumping down Luka's throat and because of who? Same person, yet again. Abby provoked every feeling from inside of him in a matter of seconds, but anger and jealousy seemed to rule sometimes. He had been dating Abby for only a short time. Luka and Abby had been together for a year so, technically, he felt as though Luka held a bigger part of Abby's heart than he did. He knew that was probably not true, he just couldn't help feeling insecure. He loved her so much, more than anyone else, and he wanted to be the most important person in her life, just as she was in his.   
  
And that's when he left me, on the docks waving him off. Never saw him again.  
  
Carter blinked and shook himself out of his daze as he finished the final stitch on the old woman's leg in front of him. Excuse me? Carter asked politely.  
  
Berty, when he went off to war, that was the last time I ever saw my Berty. You were listening weren't you Doctor?  
  
Carter smiled. Of course I was Mrs Harold.  
  
Such a nice young man. I want you every time I come to this hospital. Can that be arranged?  
  
Carter stood up from the stool in the curtain area, pulling the curtain back to reveal the bursting ER. Well, hopefully you won't be back in here again, no falling off of chairs again I hope.   
  
Could you help me up dear? Knees give me a bit of trouble at my age.   
  
Oh, sure. Carter walked over to assist Mrs Harold.   
  
Are you married then dear?  
  
He smiled slightly. No, not just yet.  
  
Well, I cannot believe that. Nice young, handsome soul like yourself.  
  
And rich too. A familiar face peered around the corner before, hurrying off and winking to Carter briefly.   
  
Thanks Susan! He chucked.  
  
That your girlfriend?  
  
Who Susan? God no! Carter laughed to himself, as Mrs Harold picked up her coat and purse from the bed. Here, let me help you with that. Carter insisted, as the old woman struggled with her coat.  
  
So where is she then?  
  
What makes you so sure I have someone in my life? Carter inquired, with a half smile.  
  
Oh dear I know. A woman of my age can just tell when a young soul is in love.  
  
I admire that. Must be pretty nice trait to have.  
  
Yes, it is. So many young lovers, makes me smile knowing some people out there are experiencing it just as I did with my Berty.  
  
Carter paused slightly, before walking behind Mrs Harold over to the nurses station to prescribe her some pills. She's at home right now. He blurted out, randomly.  
  
At home? And why are you not there with her?  
  
Ha. Everyone seems to be asking that today. He said more to himself than to her. I had to work.  
  
She doesn't work?  
  
Yeah, here actually. She's just got a few days off, not feeling too good.  
  
Poor dear. Is it morning sickness?  
  
Carter laughed again. Noooo no no no.  
  
Well, you wish her my best.  
  
Will do Mrs Harold.  
  
Carter leant on the side of the desk as he signed the woman's prescription, and handed her the bottle of pills given to him by Haleh. OK, take one every four hours. Come back and see me when you have finished the dosage. OK?  
  
OK Doctor. Thank you.  
  
No problem. Carter replied warmly as he walked away towards the admit desk. He looked up at the clock on the wall. He still had another four hours to go. He missed her already. He suddenly spotted Kerry walking past, and observed the now dying down ER surroundings. He ran up to her. Hey Kerry!  
  
Yes John?  
  
Uh, can I make a quick phone call. I'm up to date with my patients, and it looks to be dying a little. It won't take a second.  
  
Kerry observed chairs and saw Susan call in the last remaining patient. Go on, but be quick. And no calling out of State either, the ER can't afford the extortionate phone bills as well as everything else round here.  
  
Sure thing. Carter replied before walking towards the phone that sat on the reception desk. Frank and Jerry sat around aimlessly, and Gallant was sat near filling out a patients chart. Carter picked up the phone and dialled the familiar number. The phone rang a couple of times before the familiar voice picked it up.  
  
Abby asked.  
  
Hey, guess who?  
  
Hey you. What you doing calling in the middle of your shift? Weaver will not be happy with you.  
  
Funny. No, I already asked it's ok. I am not gonna get cut off or anything. So, how are you?  
  
I still can't escape your worries even when you're not here!  
  
Sorry. I worry.  
  
Well, thank you for caring. I am fine actually. Deb stopped round earlier for a while. Hmmm, wonder who roped her into that one?  
  
Carter chucked on the other end.  
  
So yeah, we had a girly afternoon. Nothing that would interest you anyway, and now I am sat on the couch waiting for you to come home, in, oh, four hours or so.  
  
Well, it's nice to think I am being thought about. You sure you're ok though, cause if anything is wrong I will be straight...  
  
over there I know John. I am fine, honestly. Will be even better once you get home.  
  
Oh really? He asked playfully.  
  
Uh huh. Abby teased back, chewing on her finger and twisting the chord round her other hand as she spoke.  
  
Well, I will be as fast as I can. These four hours are gonna drag now no thanks to you!  
  
Hey, what did I do mister?  
  
You said all that! Anyway Abby I better go, patients to see.  
  
OK, well I will see you later.  
  
You will. Miss you.  
  
Miss you too.  
  
  
  
Oh Carter?  
  
  
  
Thanks for phoning, I mean it.  
  
No problem.  
  
Love you.  
  
Love you too. Bye.  
  
With that he carefully replaced the receiver and turned to pick up another chart.   
  
It's pointless phone calls like that that keep us on these kinda wages you know. Frank bellowed from the corner.  
  
Shut up Frank. Carter stated matter of factly as he walked off to chairs.  
  
- - -  
  
The dark Chicago night surrounded his vision as he walked up the familiar steps to the familiar apartment. Although the season was well into summer, nights still felt somewhat chilly. He pulled his cotton jacket further around himself as he ascended the steps to the apartment. He knew his way around the building now like the back of his hand. Luckily, she lived on the first floor, and so on nights like these when all he wanted to do was hold her, she was only a staircase away. However, on other nights, when he dreaded walking in and seeing a bottle in her hand, or when they had had an argument and he was trying to piece together the right words to say, he wished for more stairs to climb. As he walked down the hallway, and her door came into sight he smiled. This was definitely becoming a home away from home for him, and soon enough, it would be his home too. Give it a few more months, when both were comfortable enough to share their growing feelings and thoughts on the future with one another. As he stood in front of the green door, he took his key chain from his pocket and his eyes landed the small brass key that dangled amongst the others. It symbolised a small step to their impending future together. Just a week ago, she had given it to him matter of factly one morning, as they rushed around frantically preparing to leave for work. I'm working a few extra hours tonight so let yourself in. She had offered as a passing comment. He had stopped abruptly in his tracks, the words and small brass object meaning more him than she realised. She queried, before kissing him quickly on the lips before shoving him out the door and following. Later that night, when she had arrived home and they were cuddled up on the sofa, he had pulled the key from his pocket and offered it back to her. She had looked at him, confused at first, and then with a slight hint of a smile upon her face. She placed it back in his hand with the simple words of it's yours now and that was that. The first step towards a successful relationship, for both of them, and there were many more steps to come. He shook his head from the thoughts, as he turned the key in the lock. He pushed the heavy door open, placing his bag in the usual place besides the coat stand, and shrugging his jacket off, placing it on his' hook. He lifted his head, and immediately spotted her, snuggled up on the sofa watching what looked to be a black and white horror movie. She turned around when she heard his movements, peering over the back of the sofa.  
  
Hey stranger. She smiled, before turning back around.  
  
Carter observed her for a moment. She was wearing one of his Bulls sweatshirts, along with her black tiny shorts and grey sports socks that gathered around her ankles. He walked over to the back of the sofa, placing both hands on either side where her head rested. He leant forward, hovering above her, and she reciprocated his movement by tilting her head up as he placed his lips softly over hers. He lingered there for a few seconds before pulling away slightly.   
  
He whispered, before pulling back altogether and walking around the side of the sofa and plopping himself down, letting the cushions swallow him up. He let out a heavy sigh, before extending his left arm. This was an automatic gesture he had developed, whenever he was sat in close proximity to Abby, and one she automatically accepted by leaning into him, and wrapping her arms around his torso.   
  
Long day? She asked, looking up at him slightly, with big brown eyes.  
  
Something like that. He sighed, kissing the top of her head. He paused for a moment, surveying the pictures on the screen. Ah, Psycho. Good choice darling. He mocked.   
  
Shut up! She playfully smacked him lightly on the arm. I was enjoying my Bridget Jones moment until you showed up.  
  
I can see that. He laughed, looking down at her attire with raised eyebrows.  
  
Yeah, attractive huh?  
  
Oh sure. He replied, gently kissing her neck.   
  
She groaned softly in reply to his kisses, and he continued, enjoying the reaction he was receiving. It was nice to feel wanted sometimes. Suddenly her head shot up from it's resting position from against his neck. She sat upright, amidst her shouts at the screen.  
  
Oh come on! That would never happen!   
  
Carter laughed, before placing his head in his hand, shaking his head.   
  
She turned to him, biting her lip apologetically, maybe slightly embarrassed. What? Why are you laughing?   
  
He continued to laugh, and she prodded him in the chest before shifting her position, straddling him with one knee either side of his lap. She placed her hands on either shoulder and shook him gently. Tell me Carter!  
  
He stopped laughing, but a smile still remained on his face as he placed two hands gently on either side of her waist, holding her there, not wanting her to move. His thumbs absently ran up and down her sides against the soft cotton of the sweatshirt. He stared into her brown orbs as she stared right back into his, mirroring his smile. Most guys who watch horror movies with their girlfriends have them cling to them during the scary parts. My girlfriend jumps up from my arms and shouts at the TV, not the slightest bit freaked out.  
  
Abby feigned seriousness, but still keeping her position on top of Carter. Well, I can go out and find you a girl like that if you would prefer. I am sure there would be one wondering the streets quite happy to have you cuddle up to her. I can, ya know, just sit outside or something. She attempted to climb off of him, pretending to head for the door, but his hands pulled her back into position, this time pulling her to him and closing the gap between them. His arms encircled her waist as her arms snaked around his neck and her legs moved to encircle his waist. She placed her head against into his neck, kissing it softly.   
  
I wouldn't trade you for the world. He whispered into her hair, before her kisses moved down to his chest, and the TV was soon forgotten.  
  
- - -  
  
A/N: OK well, hope that was worth the wait. I am quite pleased with myself as it was a longer chapter compared to what I usually write. Took me a while to write too, I meant to get it up last weekend so that's why it took slightly longer. I got carried away with the Carby fluff. Few more chapters of fluff to come I think before we move on into the angst again. Please, feedback IS NEEDED! I need to know what you guys think, ideas for future plots, general praise, criticisms. It keeps me going, and lets me know people are reading and enjoying. If not, what IS the point in continuing right? I need to know it is time well spent. Also, my e-mail address summer_girl@anfmail.com is currently not working, so anyone who has been e-mailing or wants to e-mail please use laura_pocknell@hotmail.com until further notice. OH, and the title and ideas in the chapter came from the lyrics to the beautiful song You Belong To Me by Jason Wade of Lifehouse. He IS a God! Thanks! Happy Easter! ***Laura***  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Falling

Roughly three weeks had passed since the terrible ordeal had occurred and things were finally back to normal. Abby had exhausted her few days off given by Weaver and was now back at work. In the first week back she had received many sympathetic passings, but now all seemed to be forgotten and she was being treated as she always had been, doctors shouted orders at her and nurses confided in her. Carter had even laid off from the over protective role, which she had welcomed more than anything. However, he still stirred at night time, waking her up unintentionally numerous times due to his restless shuffling. She had questioned him about it on a number of occasions but he had simply pushed it aside, changing the topic of conversation which caused Abby to worry more. Nevertheless, he was not really showing any signs of fatigue during the day, and so she pushed the thought to the back of her mind.   
  
Abby looked up at the clock on the wall momentarily, whilst juggling an armful of supplies which she carried towards the drug lockup. Her shift ended in only ten minutes and she could not wait to get out. She had a big night planned, and was not going to stay here one minute longer than she needed to. Suddenly, as her concentration lapsed and thoughts had trailed elsewhere, the boxes and equipment in her hands flew up in the air and crash landed in a dispersed manner across the floor. Abby cursed loudly as she observed the mess, before kneeling down and attempting to clean up the result of her clumsy mishappening.   
  
Done it again? A voice enquired.  
  
Abby looked up and her eyes met Carter's amused look, as he knelt down across from her on the floor, assisting her in cleaning up the mess.   
  
What do you mean again? She asked, frustration showing through that he had witnessed her graceless action.   
  
I saw you before when it happened. You didn't cover it very well. He laughed.  
  
Well thanks for helping me Carter! She rolled her eyes which were focused downwards as she picked up the last box, before standing with half of her load from before, as Carter carried the other half.  
  
Hey, I'm helping now aren't I?  
  
She chose not to answer his rhetorical question, as they made their may silently towards the lockup, Abby leading the way. Carter deposited his load first and walked out, waiting in the corridor for her as he leaned against the wall outside. As Abby appeared a few seconds later, he stopped her as she walked past, not seeming to notice him.  
  
So, you off soon right?  
  
Abby jumped a little in her tracks as she turned back around to face Carter, and walking back a few steps so she stood directly in front of him.  
  
Yeah. You're off at ten right?  
  
Unfortunately Weaver put me on a double so yeah. You want me to come over tonight though?  
  
Abby bit her lip apologetically. However much I would welcome that, it's my night out with the girls tonight remember?  
  
Carter tutted. That tonight?  
  
  
  
He reached out and grabbed one of her hands, entwining his fingers with hers as he held her hand by his side causing her to stumble forward slightly. You can't cancel?  
  
I can't cancel.   
  
Not even for me? He whined.   
  
Stop it! She teased, as she pulled her hand out of his grasp and used it to smack him lightly on the arm.   
  
Ow! That hurt!   
  
She rolled her eyes before retorting Grow up Carter and walked away from him towards the admit desk where she came into contact with Susan and Deb, who were already out of their professional attire and dressed in heels, black pants and brightly coloured vests.   
  
And here comes our final recruit! Susan shouted, smiling widely as Abby strode over to her two friends. Aaaand, you don't look as happy about our wild night of adventure' as I seem to be.  
  
Abby looked back over her shoulder and was met with Carter's glare as he looked back at her before entering the lounge.   
  
Oh. Trouble in paradise. Deb offered.  
  
He's being childish. Abby spat out, as she filed away her last chart and stood at the other side of the desk, preparing to head for the lounge to change.  
  
And that's new? Susan joked.  
  
I'll be back in a minute. Need to go change and straighten things out with Mr. Sulky in there. What time's the cab?  
  
Uh, he said eight-thirty so should be here in a couple of minutes. Hurry. Susan spoke, before turning back to Deb and laughing about some private matter.  
  
Abby walked into the lounge and spotted Carter leaning against her locker, biting his thumb nail avidly. He smiled meekly at her as she locked eyes with him, and she offered a small knowing smile back, their mutual silent apologies being understood. As she got to her locker, she nudged him aside gently with her butt, laughing slightly, before opening her locker and retrieving her pants and shoes. As she closed her locker and moved over to the back of the room, she turned to Carter, who leant against the closed locker, arms crossed, watching her casually.   
  
Can you watch the door for me?  
  
A puzzled look crossed his face.  
  
She held her clothes up to him in an obvious manner. I don't exactly want Frank or Malik to come in here and catch me in my underwear!  
  
Oh! Sure. Carter moved from the lockers and stood at the door, deciding to lean against it now for support as he occasionally moved his gaze from Abby to the window to observe.   
  
Why don't you go change in the bathroom? Carter questioned as Abby pulled up her pants and sat down to put on her shoes.   
  
Not enough time, cab's probably already here. Once she was done she grabbed a pocket sized mirror from her purse, and began applying a small amount of lipstick before pursing her lips and smoothing down her hair. Carter smiled to himself as he watched her actions. It was a rare sight to see Abby spending time and care on her appearance. Once she was done, she zipped up her purse and smiled as she stood a few feet away from Carter. His gaze travelled the length of her a few times before he looked into her eyes and smiled warmly.   
  
You look beautiful.  
  
Without a word Abby walked over to him and placed her arms around his neck. Thank you.  
  
They smiled at each other in silence before Carter leaned in to kiss her, hands encircling her back. His lips moved over hers softly for a few seconds before she pulled away.   
  
You smudged my lipstick. She moaned, consciously rubbing her lips together.   
  
Sorry. It was either that or no kiss.  
  
OK, lipstick smudging it is then. She replied before putting a hand behind his head again and pulling him down to her for another hungry kiss. This time it was filled with far more passion and need. Her mouth opened wider to allow Carter more access. As soon as his hand rested on the small of her back, Abby pulled away once more, this time smiling sweetly before heading towards the door.  
  
See you tomorrow then. Carter called as she stood half in and half out of the lounge.  
  
You going to yours tonight?  
  
  
  
OK. Bye bye. She waved, winking at him seductively before exiting the lounge and heading over to Susan and Deb.  
  
- - -  
  
The three sat in the packed club a few hours later. It was peak time and so they were lucky they had arrived relatively early and had been able to grab a vacant table. Music blared and lights flashed, and to make yourself heard you had to resort to shouting.   
  
So? Who's coming to dance? Susan asked.  
  
Abby and Deb looked at each other before shaking their heads. Maybe later. I haven't had enough to drink yet. Deb laughed, looking down at the two empty glasses that stood next to her half empty one on the table. Susan's eyes drifted to Abby.  
  
Hey, I'm not even drinking! She held her hands up in surrender.  
  
Oh come on you guys are no fun!  
  
Abby's gaze shifted behind Susan to the group of men fastly approaching their table.   
  
Hey Susan, looks like you might have some company. Abby quietened her tone as the men approached.  
  
Hello ladies. One of them spoke. There were four, all seemed to be in their early thirties.   
  
Susan looked at Abby and Deb with wide eyes before turning around to greet them.   
  
She waved slightly.  
  
Deb nudged Abby in the arm, causing them both to burst out laughing. Abby turned her face to the side to hide her obvious laughter.   
  
So how are we all doing tonight then? Another asked as three of them squeezed in the booth Abby and Deb were seated at, two to Deb's left and one to Abby's right. The other pulled up a chair and sat next to Susan.   
  
Great thanks. Susan spoke up again as Abby and Deb continued to hold back laughter.  
  
I'm Steve, that over there is Graham, that's Mark and that's Brian. The one next to Susan introduced them all.   
  
Susan smiled a rather superficial grin as she eyed Abby and Deb once more. Susan. That's Abby, that's Deb.  
  
The guy next to Abby suddenly turned to her, smiling as Susan introduced her. Abby smiled politely before wincing as she turned away. Suddenly, Abby felt Susan's leg kick her hard under the table, forcing her to look up and meet Susan's smirk.   
  
So, any of you lovely ladies want to dance? Steve asked.  
  
Uh, no I think... Susan began.  
  
Oh come on! He ushered, grabbing Susan's hand and forcing her up. It's only dancing!  
  
Ummm...someone come with me! She called back as she was quickly whisked off to the dance floor.   
  
Soon enough Deb was also being dragged up by the two guys sitting next to her, looking around demanding help from Abby who was sat down.  
  
Deb!! Come back here!! Abby called. However, her shouts were ignored as Deb joined Susan on the dance floor.   
  
Obviously has drunk enough. She muttered to herself, as she nervously looked down at her hands. She looked to her right to see the guy smiling at her. Again she smiled back, the smile however not reaching her eyes.  
  
So, Abby right? The guys asked. He was tall, with blonde hair and well built. However, Abby was not physically attracted to him in the slightest. The tight shirt seemed to somehow deter her.   
  
Uh yeah.  
  
I'm Graham. He said, grabbing her hand and kissing it lightly.   
  
Abby pulled it out of his grasp quickly, before laughing nervously and sliding down the booth a little, creating some distance between them.   
  
That's a beautiful name...Abby. He whispered close to her ear, as he placed a hand on her thigh and began rubbing her leg. Abby immediately stood up and sat down in Susan's chair.   
  
Uh, I'm kinda not available so...yeah. She babbled, trying to find the right words.  
  
Oh. Uh, ok. I'm sorry. Graham uttered apologetically, slightly embarrassed.   
  
No, boyfriend. Abby smiled, slightly relieved that he had not been the sleazy type who didn't take no for an answer. She had encountered that type way too many times.   
  
OK. Well Abby, he's a lucky guy.  
  
Thank you.  
  
So, why isn't he here tonight with you?  
  
He was working until late, and besides...girls night out. You kinda need them once in a while. She laughed, looking down at her hands again, still slightly uncomfortable with being alone with him.  
  
Oh. So what's he do?   
  
Abby looked up puzzled.   
  
Your boyfriend. What does he do for a living, you said he was working?  
  
Oh sorry. He's an ER doctor.  
  
Oh. Wow. Kind of makes my construction work seem worthless.  
  
She laughed. No, that's not true.  
  
So polite as well as beautiful. Graham remarked.  
  
She began to feel uncomfortable again as she looked down at her mingling hands.   
  
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. So what do you do Abby?  
  
She looked over her shoulder towards the dance floor, praying for Susan and Deb to hurry back. It was not only that this guy was attracted to her in a way that made her uncomfortable, she had not been alone with a male she didn't know since the incident three weeks ago. However, it was a packed club. This guy wasn't exactly going to kidnap her right here right now!   
  
I'm an ER nurse. She finally replied, turning her attentions back to him.  
  
He laughed. Ah, cliché couple then.  
  
Yeah, something like that.  
  
Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence filled the air, before Susan and Deb came rushing back over.   
  
Abby, you should have come and danced! Susan shouted. She suddenly look across at Graham and bit her lip at Abby. Ooooh, Carter won't be a happy bunny! She slurred, before toppling over into Deb slightly. Obviously she had had more to drink than Abby had first thought.   
  
Graham took that a his cue to exit from the table. Well, nice to meet you Abby. He smiled, before making his way to the dance floor.  
  
Susan and Deb gathered at the other side of the table, staring inquisitively at Abby.   
  
Abby demanded.  
  
What was going on theeere? Deb asked curiously.   
  
Nothing! Well, he ya know, tried it on but I told him I was attached.  
  
Ah Abby, always the sensible one. Susan laughed.  
  
Uh, it's not about being sensible.  
  
What's it about then? Susan asked puzzled.   
  
It's about being in love. She instructed, instantly regretted her outburst in front of her two drunken friends, who were way too involved in her and Carter's relationship anyway.  
  
Awwww! How romantic! Abby's in lurve! Susan squealed to no one in particular.   
  
Enough about me...what the hell happened with you two on the floor? Abby enquired as she leaned forward on the table, a sign that she wanted all the details.  
  
Susan began, before the conversation dissolved into the night.  
  
- - -  
  
The three women climbed into the back of the cab, slightly squashed for room as Susan decided she needed to sit on her legs to stop herself from barfing on all of them.   
  
Are you two working tomorrow? Abby laughed, observing her ill looking friends.  
  
Ugh, yes. Susan replied groggily. I don't think I can bear to think about The Wrath of Weaver though at a time like this.  
  
I'm not! Deb explained cheerfully, before the cab driver turned a corner, and her face turned rather pale.  
  
Well, that's what you get for drinking I suppose. Abby replied smugly.  
  
Yeah but that's what you get for being an alcoholic! Susan let out. The cab fell silent and she immediately smacked a hand over her mouth, shocked at the words that had just escaped her mouth.  
  
Oh God Abby, I'm so sorry.  
  
Abby looked down. No, no it's ok Susan.  
  
Susan reached over and grabbed Abby's hand. No, I didn't mean that. It's the drink. Kinda made me say it.  
  
Abby looked up at Susan and smiled genuinely. No really, it's ok. It's true, you shouldn't have to hide it from me.  
  
The silence dominated once more, as Abby laid her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes, the events of the night running through her mind. She had watched her friends dance the night away as she sat sober, alone. Then she had been hit on by that guy, making her feel unsafe for the first time in three weeks. Now, she had been insulted by one of her best friends. It really had not been the kind of night she had hoped for. Now she wished she had stayed at home with Carter, snuggling into his arms where she did not feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Smiling as he stroked her hair, holding each other. The cab driver's voice suddenly broke her trance.  
  
Where to first ladies?  
  
It was Abby who lived closet, but she began to ponder before speaking up. Huron Avenue please.  
  
Oh look who's looking for some action! Susan exclaimed, nudging Abby in the ribs.  
  
Shut up! She laughed. He'll be in bed anyway, I just want to see him, is there harm in that?  
  
Not at all. Susan replied seriously, before her and Deb collapsed into a state of drunken giggling.  
  
Abby smiled to herself as she searched around in her purse for her cell phone. She flipped it open and cursed aloud as she viewed the screen.   
  
What's wrong? Deb asked concerned.  
  
I've got like twelve missed calls off of John.  
  
Why didn't you get them? Susan questioned.  
  
I had the ring tone off!  
  
OK, calm down. It can't be anything important, he's probably just checking up on you.  
  
Abby looked at her watch. It was nearing four in the morning. The last time he had tried to call was only half an hour ago.   
  
She began to worry. I hope nothing's wrong.  
  
Look, it's Carter. What else would he be doing apart from checking up on you? Susan asked.  
  
I guess.  
  
Well, I guess you're about to find out. Deb stated, as the cab pulled up outside Carter's apartment block.  
  
Wish me luck. Abby smiled as she waved good-bye to her friends.  
  
With that, she hurried out and up the stairs into the building before she could wait for a departing message from them. She ran a hand through her hair once inside, as she climbed the stairs before reaching his door. She rarely visited his apartment as they always resided to hers. Even Carter had been permanently rooted there for the past five weeks. As Abby dug out her key chain and retrieved the small brass key, she took a deep breath and entered the apartment. As soon as she shut the door Carter appeared from the bedroom running out and nearly skidding into the cabinet at the end of the hallway.  
  
What the hell happened?! He shouted, staring at her in a somewhat shocked and dazed expression.  
  
Abby looked puzzled.  
  
I've been trying to call you!  
  
Carter calm down! My phone was on silent.  
  
Abby, do you have ANY idea how worried I have been?! It's four in the morning! You could have been in trouble again for all I knew! Carter leant against the wall behind him whilst rubbing his hands over his face, holding them there for a moment.  
  
Abby slowly made her way towards him. She stood in front of him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Carter, what's going on?  
  
He opened his eyes, before moving away from her touch and into the middle of the living room. He shouted again.  
  
John, I'm worried. When was the last time you slept?  
  
For God's sake, not this again. What the hell makes you think...  
  
Abby attempted to approach him again, but he dodged her. John, we both know over-anxiety is a sign of sleep deprivation.  
  
I'm fine. I'm fine I'm fine I'M FINE! He shouted.   
  
Abby sighed as she closed her eyes, instantly regretting coming to his apartment. She could tell this was going to turn into a heated argument. When she opened her eyes however, she was greeted with a sight that shocked her somewhat. Carter was grabbing onto the sofa, squinting his eyes shut rapidly.  
  
Carter? John what's wrong?  
  
Nothing, I just... As if in slow motion his body slumped to the floor and collapsed with a sickening bang.  
  
Abby stood still, motionless for what seemed like an eternity. Her mouth gaped open, throat dry, before she screamed.   
  
- - -  
  
A/N OK, so I decided to wang another one out for you guys. I know it has been quite a while, and if you have been reading my new invention you will have already read my explanations as to why ITW has taken some kind of a hiatus. So, I hope you have not forgotten the plot and everything, and that this chapter met expectations (whatever those may be!) I am sorry for the angst at the end, I couldn't stay away from it, especially with being so fluff packed. So, as before and somewhere in between, please please please review. Tell me if I should keep at this one, or concentrate on May. Tell me what you thought of this chapter and the way the story is heading (and concluding, I honestly don't know how much further I can take this story without it getting repetitive and boring). So yeah, and thanks for reading if you have gotten this far. I know A/N's are usually skipped over but I do try to pour my heart out in mine. I hope to get another chapter out at least before I reside to the States in two weeks for the whole summer. Rock on. ***Laura***  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. Without You

A/N: OK so I am so sorry that I have not updated in so long. I won't babble on about it because I already did that in May'. Please read the new chapter of that if you haven't already. A new one should be making it's way here soon. So please, read, review and enjoy this new instalment. Thank you all so much for the reviews so far for both stories. You are all so wonderful.Oh, and credits to Michelle Branch for the lyrics used in this song. I'd rather be in love' from he album The Spirit Room'. ***Laura***  
  
- - -  
  
_But without you  
I'm alone  
And I'd rather be in love with you  
_  
  
She stood there staring into the black vortex around her for what seemed like an eternity. The room spun, her mouth was dry, her eyes wide and staring. Her tongue ran absently over her lips as she took in the situation. She couldn't move. John's body lay there, still, unmoving, and she was paralysed to the spot. Unable to move, unable to help. After many wondering minutes she finally forced her muscles to move, pushing her shivering body into action. An eerie silence fell across the room as she made the few terrible steps towards him. She knelt down to his level, her knees a mere inche away from his torso which faced upwards, his back firmly rooted to the ground. She carefully, almost timidly, placed a quivering hand on his cheek. Her fingertips crazed the rough texture of unshaved skin. She then placed her free hand under his head, cradling it in her hands.  
  
She whispered, her voice cracking somewhat. John, it's Abby. Please, wake up.  
  
His eyelids remained closed, his face a sickly pale colour.   
  
Suddenly a trigger snapped inside of her. This weak quality being displayed by herself dissolved somewhat into thin air. Coherent thoughts resurfaced and panic no longer ruled. The strong professional that she was pushed to the surface and she would not let the man before her suffer anymore due to her frail mind.   
  
Abby jumped up almost immediately and practically ran to Carter's kitchen to retrieve the cordless phone. She glanced back every so often, completely uneasy about leaving Carter lying there, helpless and vulnerable. The sofa blocked the majority of his body but she could see the nauseating view of his two jean-clad legs lying stationary on the carpeted floor. As soon as Abby had picked up the phone she began to dial the three lonesome digits that she always prayed would never have to be dialled once by her finger. Whilst the dial tone rang piercingly in her ear, she made her way back to him and sat on the floor beside his form. Her eyes bulged in pure shock as she picked up his hand. It was not cold, that was a good thing if there ever was to be one in this situation. As soon as she was put through to an operator, she immediately transformed back to in-control Abby.  
  
Uh, yes I need an ambulance please. My boyfriend's collapsed and is unconscious. He's still breathing but his pulse is weak. She swallowed the lump in her throat as the young woman on the other end of the line spoke calmly to her in a subtle attempt to calm her. Although she appeared strong and in control, Abby was screaming on the inside.  
  
Yeah it's 145 Huron Avenue. Just off from the 7/11. Yeah that's it. Ok thank you.   
  
She immediately hung up and disregarded the phone somewhere behind her, not moving from her position beside him. Abby had never seen Carter this helpless since the stabbing. She had known him barely a week then, but still felt a sickening feeling way down in her stomach even then. She had put it down to it being her first week as a med student but now, looking back, she could easily say the feeling ran a lot deeper.   
  
Abby stroked Carter's cheek, trying to imagine what was happening. Why had he suddenly collapsed? The nagging thought in the back of mind was obviously drugs, but she didn't want it to surface. She wouldn't allow herself to think that. However, what other possible explanation could there be? People just didn't randomly collapse, especially healthy young men such as Carter. She winced at the thought. As soon as he was wheeled through the doors of the ER at County, that was what everyone was going to assume. Drugs. Abby internally smacked herself for regarding such issues as important. The most important thing here was Carter. The man she loved was lying in her arms unconscious, but she did not even want to consider such thoughts. He was going to be fine, she could feel it. However, as soon as she looked at his face, his eyelids, his lips, his shallow breaths, tears began to fall down her face. Her lips crumpled and she resorted to burying her face in his neck. His scent still managed to engulf her, and she felt in heaven for a spilt second as her hands ran through the soft texture of his thick hair. She could not bear to lose this man, not after everything they had been through in the past few weeks. Bad luck had a way of hitting them, and it sure as hell was out to play today.  
  
- - -  
  
Ten minutes later, she watched as Rodrigez and a new driver she had not yet met wheeled Carter into the ambulance. She stood a few feet away, arms wrapped around herself due to the bitter coldness of the night. She had yet to change from the pants and light jacket she had worn out that night, but clothes seemed meaningless at a time like this. She had subconsciously observed the small number of people that had gathered around the entrance to the apartment building, observing the small commotion going on outside. However, Abby did not recognise any of them, and still remained to feel alone.   
  
Rodrigez approached her a few seconds later, a mixture of sorrow and confusion etched across his face.   
  
You coming Abby? He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder, partly to grab her attention, partly to console.  
  
Uh, yeah. She replied, still very much dazed. She climbed into the back, taking a hold of Carter's hand again as he was hooked up to a drip. The rest of the journey remained a blur.  
  
- - -  
  
They pulled into County a few minutes later. It was lucky the incident' had occurred at Carter's apartment and that it was so close to County. Abby was not in the mood to be in unfamiliar surroundings right now, she wanted to be amongst friends, amongst her family.   
  
She continued to stare at Carter's pale complexion as the gurney was hurriedly wheeled out of the ambulance and into the ambulance bay where familiar faces greeted her blank stare.   
  
Susan asked with wide worried eyes. Her voice quivered as the words poured out of her lips.   
  
Abby continued to stare into the cold air that now surrounded her. Her eyes were huge, pure shock hitting her like a powerful wave. Luka and Pratt wheeled Carter into the hospital without so much of a word, knowing that what he needed right now medical care. Susan however, stayed behind with Abby who still sat in the ambulance. She offered Susan her hand suddenly, and Susan took it and helped her down onto the concrete beneath. A lump formed in Susan's throat when she felt the cold stone flesh of Abby's hand. Without a word, she held her friend's hand close to her and led her inside. Carter was in safe hands, and right now Abby was the one who needed her.   
  
- - -  
  
A moment later, the two women were sat together in the lounge. Abby had not yet uttered a word since the ambulance had pulled up. Susan did not push her, and instead continued to hold her hand waiting for her to open up when she was ready.   
  
It's not drugs you know. I know it's not and I would know Susan.  
  
Susan sighed as she sucked her lips in, biting down on them, her eyes closing momentarily. Abby, we would never think that.  
  
But you do, that's the thing. It even crossed my mind and so I know it must have crossed everyone's mind here. She sat back on the sofa now, pulling her hand free from Susan's and letting the exhaustion take over her as she sunk into the cushions and closed her eyes as her head hit the back of the sofa.   
  
Abby, listen to me, we don't know anything until Luka comes out and tells us the whole situation, so we won't say anything until then but listen to me ok? Carter will be ok, he's strong, you're both so strong and I know he wouldn't leave you. He wouldn't leave you alone.  
  
Abby's eyes remained close as her head rested back, but a single tear rolled down her cheek. She grabbed hold of Susan's hand blindly and gripped it tightly as she opened her soul, the tears flooded and her world caved in around her.  
  
- - -  
  
How could two people have so much bad luck. Haleh offered as she sat at the nurses station, biting her nails as yet another of her colleagues was being treated in the very emergency room they slaved away in day after day.  
  
It seems like someone is dealing a little too much bad luck in that direction if you ask me. Connie offered. Two people, so perfect for one another, but are kept apart tragically by awful events.  
  
Well if you ask me, it's karma. One of them obviously did something the fates didn't agree with and it has come back to bite them in the a...  
  
Who needs your opinion Frank? Haleh shouted at the nosey receptionist as he hobbled by.  
  
It can go and bite you in the ass too then. He retorted before disappearing almost too hastily at the site of Haleh's menacing stance as she appeared in the hallway.  
  
- - -  
  
After what had seemed like hours, Luka entered the lounge with Pratt in tow. Pratt held back holding Carter's chart as Luka offered a tight smile to Abby as he sat down next to her. He looked directly into her red rimmed eyes, and placed a gentle calming hand on her shoulder.   
  
Abby looked up at his with the most vulnerable stare she had ever offered anyone. Please don't end my world Luka.  
  
The words seemed to move everyone in the room at that moment. Susan winced whilst looking away as if the words were the worst her ears could have heard at that moment in time. Pratt even seemed to take in a huge sigh at the raw emotion felt in that room.   
  
Luka smiled softly at the woman who was so dependant on the next few words that came out of this mouth. I'm not going to Abby. Carter is fine, well, as fine as he could be at a time like this.  
  
Everyone seemed to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Abby let out a small moan as if the world had been lifted from her shoulders. Her whole expression seemed to change to one of utter relief. She reached across and hugged Luka to her briefly, then whispering a very weak thank you.   
  
Susan was the first to ask the required information. What caused his collapse?  
  
Abby's relief was taken away for that split second, praying that her world would not come crashing down around her for a second time that day.  
  
Well, this isn't the best news I am afraid. Carter has suffered from extreme exhaustion. From the looks fo things, he hasn't eaten in days, and it's been weeks, maybe, since he had a proper meal. He has lost a lot of weight and is very weak at this moment. It also looks like he hasn't been sleeping properly. The stress obviously got to him and his body found it hard to cope. We lost a pulse but he received the necessary treatment. Luka turned his full attention to Abby once again. He's a fighter Abby.  
  
Abby placed her head in hands as if at a loose end. I don't understand. I didn't notice it, I mean I did but I didn't know it was this out of control! Susan returned to her side as she observed her friend becoming rather frantic.  
  
Shhh, don't blame yourself Abby.  
  
He showed no signs Susan! He was so happy, he seemed so carefree. All this time...he was in turmoil. What could have possibly driven him to this state?   
  
Look, go in and see him Abby. He was asking for you. He needs you right now. Luka patted her knee before she stood and headed for the door.  
  
Abby turned around as she reached for the handle. Thank you. Susan, Luka. I...just thank you.  
  
Both offered warm genuine smiles for the woman standing before them. No words were needed now, they both knew where Abby wanted and needed to be, and it wasn't in the lounge.  
  
- - -  
  
She stood outside the trauma room for an eternity, simply observing. He looked so pale, so pale. What shocked Abby the most though was how much damage Carter's shirt had hiden. As he lay topless, his ribs were clearly visible. It made her feel sick to the stomach knowing that he had suffered this much before her very eyes and she had not even noticed the true extent of the damage. Suddenly, her need to be with him was greater than her need to hide. She took fairy steps into the eerie room. It was somehow alien to her when it was her own loved one lying there helpless.  
  
Hey there beautiful. A croaky voice offered, milliseconds before Abby came into his view.  
  
She offered a small chuckle. How did you...  
  
My heart has learnt to detect when you're within ten feet of me. It's a neat trick. I'm beginning to dig it ya know.  
  
She tilted her head and smiled. Her love for this man was greater than any emotion she had ever felt. You scared me you know.  
  
Carter extended his hand to her and when their fingers entwined, he pulled her to his side. She perched on the end of his bed, pulling their hands to her mouth and kissed his fingers lightly.   
  
I'm sorry Abby.  
  
Her voice cracked as she began to sob. She laughed slightly as she sniffed. Don't be.  
  
Hey now. He reached up with his free hand to wipe her loan tears. None of that.   
  
She laughed again as she sniffed. Suddenly her expression turned serious. Why Carter?  
  
The open ended question made complete sense to him. I was so incredibly worried about you. I thought that I had lost you that day, I had this dream and...anyway none of that matters now. I just worked myself into this depressive state because I was trying so hard to protect you and it wasn't working.  
  
Abby sighed. John I don't need...  
  
Protecting, I know. I know that now Abby. Now I'm the one that needs you. His voice cracked at the end. His vulnerability was screaming out to Abby.  
  
Her eyes began to moisten once more. She took a hold of his face in both of her hands and looked directly into his orbs. They connected immediately and each knew exactly what the other was feeling deep inside the soul. She pressed her lips to his forehead before whispering softly in his ear.  
  
I'm here.  
  
- - -  
  
_Cause when there's you  
I feel whole  
And there's no better feeling in the world  
  
- - -_


End file.
